A Miracle For Marc
by Rena
Summary: Can Lu survive another trauma?
1. Distraught

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. They belong to Lifetime Television

Chapter 1: Distraught

Dr. Luisa Delgado sat huddled in a chair, arms wrapped tightly around her knees. She stared off into the distance as if in another world, oblivious to the bustle of activity around her. 

"Oh my god, Lu." Lana Hawkins said as she rushed down the hall towards her friend. "I just heard what happened." Lana gave Lu a hug, then sat down in the chair next to her.

"Any word on Marc's condition yet?" Lu continued staring ahead, causing Lana to wonder if she was even aware that she was there.

"Uh...not yet." Lu finally murmured after several minutes of silence.

"I'm sure we'll hear something soon," Lana said, trying to reassure her friend.

"What...what if he doesn't make it, Lana?" Lu questioned, never taking her eyes off the wall.

"Now you listen to Lana, Kid. That boy will make it. He's a fighter. Just like his mama." Lana answered firmly. "He'll be fine. You'll see." 

"You should have seen him, Lana." Lu said softly, her voice trembling. "He...he..." Lu's voice trailed off as she seemed to go into a trance, staring at the wall in front of her. Lana gently touched her shoulder, speaking softly. "Where are you, Lu?"

"When Marc was about 8 weeks old....he ended up in the hospital with pneumonia." Lu whispered as the memory came back to her. I went to get him up one morning and he stopped breathing. I...I was 16. I didn't know what to do. So I called an ambulance. I didn't even know how to help my own baby. The doctor told me I had a fighter on my hands."

"And he was right," Lana agreed. "He's just like you."

"Dr. Delgado, I just heard about Marc. Any news yet?" Lana glanced up as Dr. Robert Jackson approached them. When Lu didn't respond, Robert looked at Lana.

"Ms. Hawkins?" Lana shook her head.

"Nothing, Yet."

"Is there anything I can do, Dr. Delgado?" Robert asked. Unable to speak around the large lump in her throat, Lu slowly shook her head.

"Ms. Hawkins, I'd like you to cancel all of Dr. Delgado's patients for the remainder of the afternoon. I know she often has late patients on Friday's. And as of right now, she is off the clock. No patients, no pages."

"Yes, Dr. Jackson." Lana answered as she stood to go. She took one last look at Lu, then headed downstairs to the reception desk. Robert sat down in the chair beside her.

"Dr. Delgado...Lu, are you sure there is nothing I can do?"

"I was only 16 when Marc was born." Lu said softly. "When I found out I was pregnant, I was scared. I didn't know the first thing about taking care of a baby. I dropped out of school. I didn't know what kind of life I could give my son, with no education." Robert sat there quietly, realizing now that what he could do for her was lend a listening ear. 

"It was so hard sometimes." Lu whispered. Robert glanced at his watch, suddenly remembering that he was due at a board meeting 15 minutes earlier.

"Dr. Delgado, I'm late for a board meeting, so I need to go. But I want you to call me if you need anything, anything at all." Lu nodded as Robert excused himself, leaving her alone.

Lu leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes as memories from her son's childhood came rushing back to her. Her son was her life. If anything happened to him...

"Lu?" Dana gently touched Lu's shoulder, not wanting to startle her. Dana could see that her partner seemed to be miles away. "Lu?" Dana said again. Lu slowly opened her eyes.

"Oh. Dana. I...I didn't know you were here."

"Any news yet?" Dana questioned. Lu slowly shook her head.

"No."

"Lu, have you notified Bill?" Lu was silent as she seemed to focus on the doors to the O.R. as if expecting them to open any minute. It was obvioius to Dana that Lu had not heard her question.

"Lu...."

"What?" Lu asked softly, suddenly realizing that Dana was speaking to her.

"Have you called Bill yet?"

"Bill...uh...no."

"Let me call him for you. Where do I find his number?"

"On my desk." Lu answered. Dana patted her shoulder.

"I'll be right back."

"I'm scared, Dana." Lu whispered as Dana started to walk away. Dana turned and went back to Lu, knowing that she couldn't leave her partner alone now. She wasn't a doctor worried about her patient now, but a distraught mother worried about her child.

"I know you are, Lu." Dana put her arm around her, trying to comfort her in some small way.

"You have to believe that Marc will be okay. I'm sure Dr. Ames is doing his best."

"Dana, we are both doctors. And we both know that sometimes doing our best isn't good enough." Dana knew that Lu was right. Sometimes no matter what, even when they did their best, they couldn't save the life of a patient.

"Lu, Marc is a fighter, just like you. He won't give up. So don't you give up either. Just think of all the things that you have fought for and won...all the things that you have survived. How many single women can say that they dropped out of high school to have a baby, then became a successful doctor? You fought your way through med school, and won. You successfully started your own free clinic. You are raising your son alone, and doing a terrific job. He is a kind and caring young man. You survived a brutal rape that almost destroyed you and your career. You fought your way back and won. And you'll win this too."

"Dana, when I got raped, I didn't think anything could be worse. Kilner violated my body and he got away with it. Sometimes the pain was so bad, I just wanted to die. My life was spinning out of control, and I didn't know how to stop it. I was angry. I was hurt. But today when I saw my son lying on that table in the ER...Dana, I may have survived a rape, but I will never be able to survive the death of my son. If he dies, then I might as well too."

"Dr. Delgado?" Dr. Bryce Ames emerged from the O.R. Lu and Dana quickly jumped to thier feet. Dana put her arm around Lu, knowing that she needed the support to stand, as she was trembling and unsteady.

"Yeah?" Lu questioned softly, her voice trembling.


	2. The News

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

Author's Note: All of the medical information in this chapter was taken from brain injury.com and TraumaticBrainInjuryFYI.com

Chapter 2: The News

"Dr. Delgado, your son..." Dr. Ames started, but was interrupted as Bill approached.

"Lu, what's going on? Your receptionist called and said Marc was in some sort of accident."

"You must be Mr. Delgado." Dr. Ames said.

"No." Bill replied quickly. "But I am Marc's father. What happened, Lu?"

"He...he was riding your dirt bike and got hit by a car.," Lu answered slowly.

"Bill, Dr. Ames was just about to tell us how Marc is doing." Dana told him. 

"Yeah, okay." Bill nodded for Dr. Ames to continue.

"Marc suffered severe road rash with contusions on the face and head." Dr. Ames began.

"His spleen was ruptured, so we did need to remove it. His left shoulder is dislocated, and he has a broken collar bone. He shows no signs of hematoma, but he does show signs of edema. He..."

"Wait a minute." Bill interrupted. "What exactly does that mean?"

"There's is no sign of bleeding of the brain, but there are signs of swelling of the brain," Dana answered, quickly realizing that her partner couldn't respond, as she was trying to process the information in her own mind.

"It appears that Marc has a contrecoup injury," Dr. Ames continued.

"What does that mean?" Bill asked.

"He hit the front of his head, but the brain hit the back of the head." Lu whispered.

"What?" Bill questioned.

"When a moving head strikes a stationary object. At impact the brain opposite the site of impact is pulled away from the skull, injuring the brain there." Dr. Ames replied.

"What about this...this swelling?" Bill questioned.

"Swelling of the brain becomes dangerous when the swelling causes a rise in intracranial pressure which prevents blood from entering the skull to deliver glucose and oxygen to the brain. Sustained high intracranial pressure can be relieved through medication, or in more severe cases, such as Marc's, by placing a hole in the skull to drain off some of the high-pressure cerebrospinal fluid." Dr. Ames explained, then continued. "On the Glasgow Coma Scale, I'd say he's a 9. He..."

"Wait a minute. What's that?" Bill asked.

"The Glasgow Coma Scale is used to predict the early outcome from a head injury." Dana answered. "The longer a period of unconsciousness, the more severe the injury. We tally up a Glasgow Coma Scale of his neurologic status, which can range from a low 3, deeply comatose, to a normal value of 15. The lower the score, the worse the outlook."

"Oh. What about permanant brain damage?" Bill questioned.

"There's no way of knowing until Marc wakes up. The first 48 hours will be the most crucial."

"Can we see him?" Bill asked. Dr. Ames shook his head.

"He'll be in recovery for a couple of hours, than he'll be moved to ICU. You will be allowed to see him later this evening, but only for 10 minutes."

"Okay. Thanks." Dr. Ames nodded, then headed down the hall towards his office. Bill sat down in the nearest chair. Dana glanced at Bill, then at Lu, who looked as if she was ready to collapse. "Can I get either of you a cup of coffee?"

"No, thank you, Dr. Stowe." Bill replied.

"How about you, Lu?" Dana asked.

"Uh...no thanks, Dana." Lu whispered as she sat down in a chair before her legs could threaten to collapse beneath her.

"Lu, I think we need to talk." Bill said.

"No." Lu replied abruptly.

"But Lu..." Bill started. Lu interrupted.

"Don't you understand english? I said no."

"Come on, Lu. We need..." Dana slowly shook her head, silently telling Bill that it would be best not to push her. Dana knew from past experiences. Bill nodded in understanding.

"I need to get back downstairs. I've got one more patient to see before I call it a day. Call me if you need anything." Bill nodded.

"Thanks, Dana." Lu replied as her partner walked down the hall.


	3. Lecture From Lana

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters

Chapter 3: A Lecture From Lana

     Dana sighed as she approached the reception desk, giving Lana the file from her last patient.

   "Last patient of the day, Lana. And it has been a long day."

   "I hear ya, doc." Lana answered. "Have you been up to see Lu lately?" Dana shook her head.

   "No. I think we might need a referee up there before long. Lu wouldn't talk to Bill at all, but it's only a matter of time before she lets loose. And I am afraid that Bill is going to be at the receiving end."

   "No need for a ref as long as Lana is here." Lana said as she walked around the desk. "I'm done for the day. I think I will go upstairs and sit with Lu for awhile." Dana nodded.

   "Thanks, Lana. I'll check back with you later."

     A short time later Lana found Bill sitting alone. She glanced around, wondering where Lu was. "Mind if I sit down?" Bill glanced up.

   "Yeah, sure."

   "Where's Lu?" Lana questioned as she sat down.

   "I guess she is in the recovery room with Marc.  They won't let me see him until he is moved to a room in ICU later. Lu won't even let me see him."

   "Well, that is a rule." Lu reminded him. Bill nodded.

   "Lu won't even talk to me. It's almost as if she blames me for the accident."

   "I'm sure she doesn't blame you." Lana replied.  "You need to realize how difficult this is for her."

   "But Marc is my son too. Does she think this is any easier for me? I need to talk to her. But she won't even listen to me. She acts like she is the only one affected by this accident."

   "Marc is her life, Bill. He is her family. They are very close." Lana told him.

   "Just because I don't live with him doesn't mean that I don't love him. He is still my son. I love him very much."

   "I'm sure you do, but your relationship with him is much different than Lu's. She has raised that boy on her own since she was 16 years old."

   "I know that. And I know I wasn't much help back then."

   "Bill, you're married and you have other kids, right?" Bill nodded.

   "Yeah."

   "Just think how you would feel if something happened to one of them. That is how Lu feels about Marc. I've never seen a mother and son so close as they are."

   "I know you're Lu's receptionist, so I know you have to take her side."

   "I am not just Lu's receptionist. I am her best friend. And I am not taking sides here. There is no sides to take. Marc had a terrible accident. I am here to support Marc's parents. And you are  the boy's father."

   "I've been wanting to talk to Lu for some time lately. I don't know what is going on with her, but she has been sending Marc to my place quite often."

   "Does that bother you?" Lana asked.

   "Well, no. Not really. But up until recently, she pretty much stuck to our planned visitation schedule. Sometimes she would ask if he could spend extra time with me, but she always gave me a few days notice at least.  A few weeks ago she called and said she needed Marc to stay with me for awhile, and she wanted me to pick him up at school the next day. When I asked her why, she just said that she needed to be alone."

   "Everyone needs time alone now and then." Lana told him.

   "And Marc said that Lu was mad at him. What in the world could make her so mad that she would need to send him away? I love my son, and I don't like the idea of Lu pawning him off on me just so she can spend the night with some new boyfriend." Bill replied, his tone angry.

   "Pawning him off on you?" Lana asked, her voice rising. "Is that what you think? You think your son is being pawned off on you?"

   "Well, I..." Bill started, but Lana interrupted.

   "You have no idea wha that poor woman has been through during the past several weeks. As if the rape wasn't..."

   "Lana." Lana turned at the sound of Dana's voice.

   "Dr. Stowe."

   "Can I see you for a moment?" Lana excused herself from Bill and joined Dana.

   "Lana, I thought you came up here to referee, not to argue with Bill."

   "Yes, Dr. Stowe. But..."

   "Lana, I'm not so sure Lu told him about the rape, so best not mention it again."

   "Rape?" Bill asked, joining them. "What are you talking about?"


	4. Whose To Blame?

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters

Chapter 4: Whose To Blame?

Dana quietly slipped into the recovery room. She found Lu sitting beside her son's bed, holding his hand. Dana stood there a moment, observing the scene before her. Marc was pale against the white sheets, bandages covering his head and attached to many tubes. Lu wa staring at his face, as if trying to memorize every feature of her son's face. Dana closed the door and approached Lu, speaking softly. "Lu?" Lu slowly glanced up.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had a date or something." Lu said, her speech slurred and heavy with emotion, making it obvious to Dana that her partner was extremely exhausted.

"I cancelled my date. I felt that I should stay here."

"You didn't have to do that. There's not much you can do here. Marc..." Lu's voice trailed off.

"I didn't stay for Marc. I stayed for you, Lu." Dana answered softly. Lu quickly turned away from Dana, not wanting her to see the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. Dana knew that Lu was trying hard not to cry in front of her. She placed a hand on Lu's shoulder.

"Lu, it's okay to cry. You can't bottle up the emotions like this."

"I...can't, Dana." Lu whispered. "Because I'm afraid I won't be able to stop."

"They'll be moving Marc to ICU soon. You're exhausted, Lu. I think you should go home and try to get some rest." Lu slowly shook her head.

"No. I can't leave my son."

"Then at least go take a nap on the couch in your office." Lu shook her head again.

"My office is to far away from ICU. I need to be with Marc." Dana sighed, knowing it would be no use arguing with her.

"Lu, Bill is waiting outside. He..." Lu interrupted.

"Tell him to go home."

"I can't tell him that, Lu. He wants to see Marc. And he wants to talk to you."

"No, Dana. I can't talk to him...not right now." 

"But Lu..." Dana started, but Lu interrupted.

"Please, Dana. I can't. I'll talk to him later." Dana nodded in understanding, gently touching Lu's shoulder. "I understand, Lu. Really I do. I'll make Bill understand too."

"Thanks. I just can't see him now."

"Is there anything I can do for you? " Lu slowly shook her head.

"No.You should go home. You've been here all day too." Dana sighed. As usual, Lu was thinking of others instead of herself.

"I thought maybe I would hang out here for awhile, if that is okay with you. At least until they move Marc to ICU." Lu turned away from her son to look at her partner.

"I...I guess I could use some company." She whispered. "Now I understand how the families of my patients feel...totally helpless. I'm a doctor and I can't even help him. Maybe this wouldn't have happened if I had..." Lu paused. Dana knew where this conversation was going. She knew that Lu was blaming herself.

"Lu, none of this was your fault. You know that. Please don't blame yourself."

"I can't help it, Dana. Marc went to his dad's because he was upset with me about something."

"You don't know that for sure." Dana argued.

"Why else would he have gone without even talking to me first? The last couple of days he has been kinda...kinda distant. He would hardly talk to me at all. That's not at all like him. I don't know what I did to make him upset with me. And now..." Lu paused, unable to continue. Dana gently put her arm around her partner.

"Lu, what happened to Marc was an accident...a tragic accident. Noone is to blame. You've got to believe that. And you especially are not to blame. Don't do this to yourself."

"Dana, if Marc dies..."

"I think Bill is worried that you blame him for the accident. He never actually said that, but I think that is what he thinks. Maybe you should talk to him, tell him that you don't."

"I...I can't, Dana." Lu said quietly. "Because I'm not so sure that I don't blame him."


	5. A Father's Plea

! 

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters

Chapter 5: A Father's Plea

Dana glanced at her watch as she entered the clinic the next morning. It was Saturday and she had the day off, but she wanted to check on Marc and Lu before continuing with her plans for the day.

"Dr. Stowe?" Dana turned to see Bill running to catch up with her.

"Hi Bill. How's Marc this morning?" Bill shrugged.

"No change, I guess. I got to see him for a few minutes last night, but that's about it. I was wondering if I might talk to you for a few minutes." Dana hesitated for a moment. She had a feeling that she knew what he wanted to talk to her about.

"Sure, Bill. Let's go into my office." Bill smiled gratefully as he followed her down the hall towards her office. Once inside the office, Dana closed the door and motioned for him to sit down. "So what's on your mind, Bill?"

"I was wondering if maybe you could talk to Lu." Dana sighed.

"Bill, I'd like to help. But I really don't think anything I say will do any good. I can't make Lu talk to you."

"You're her friend. She's more apt to listen to you. The only thing we share is our son." Bill argued. Dana took a deep breath.

"Lu and I are partners, but she has a mind of her own. And right now she is focused on Marc. And to be honest Bill, I'm not so sure now would be a good time for you to talk to her. She's had a very difficult time, both her personal life and here at the RWHC. She is totally exhausted. And now wiht Marc's accident...well, I'm afraid she is going to break soon. And I don't think you would want to be at the receiving end." Dana concluded.

"I'm willing to take that risk." Bill replied. "I think we need to talk about other things too...not just this accident." Dana sighed, than spoke firmly.

"Okay, Bill. I'll see what I can do. But if she refuses, you'll just have to wait until she is ready." Bill nodded, understanding Dana's meaning clearly: don't ask me again to talk to Lu.

As Dana looked up into this man's eyes, her heart went out to him. His eyes showed sadness, hurt and fear.

"Bill, I promise I'll do whatever I can to help you and Lu."

"Thank you, Dr. Stowe." Bill answered softly.

"Sure." Dana glanced at her watch. "I'll talk to her now. She's likely to still be in his room. You can wait in the lobby near ICU if you'd like. Or you might want to wait down here. If she agrees to talk, she might want to do it in her office.

"Okay. I'll wait down here." Dana and Bill left the office together. Dana headed upstairs to see Lu, and Bill headed towards Lu's office.


	6. A Mother's Heart

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters

Chapter 6: A Mother's Heart

Dana paused and took a deep breath before opening the door to Marc's room. She entered the room quietly, hoping Lu would be asleep, but knowing that there was a very slim chance of that.

And she was right. Lu was sitting in a chair beside Marc's bed, her legs drawn up, her arms wrapped tightly around them with her chin resting on her knees.

"Lu?" Dana whispered softly.

"What are you doing here?" Lu asked without looking up.

"I wanted to see how Marc is doing." Dana replied.

"But it's your day off." Lu's voice was barely above a whisper.

"Sometimes there are more important things." Dana answered. Lu nodded but remained silent.

"How is Marc this morning?" Dana questioned.

"No change." Lu whispered. Dana pulled up a chair and sat down.

"And how are you? I know you haven't slept in almost 48 hours."

"I can't...I don't..." Lu struggled to find words, but paused as the words seemed to catch in her throat.

"Can I get you anything? Coffee maybe?" Dana asked. Lu shook her head.

"The only thing I want right now is for my son to wake up. I'm...I'm afraid he's slipping away from me...and I can't do anything to help him. What kind of doctor am I? I spend all my time saving lives and I can't even..." Lu's voice trailed off. Dana, knowing exactly what her partner was going to say, gently touched her arm.

"Lu, listen to me. You are a wonderful doctor.Your patients are so fortunate. You're someone they can trust. They know they can count on you. But there are times when things happen that we have no control over, times when there is nothing we can do. And this is one of those times. Marc had an accident. Dr. Ames did his best. He's one of the best surgeons we've got. Don't put yourself down. None of this is your fault."

"Dana, I've been a mother since I was 16. In some ways Marc and I grew up together. He's my whole life...without him, my life is meaningless." 

Dana opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. What could she say? She had never been in Lu's situation.

For 2 1/2 years, Dana had watched as Lu poured her heart into her job, many times going above and beyond the call of duty in order to help her patients. Now she realized that Lu was speaking from a mother's heart, rather than as a doctor.

Dana knew that this would not be a good time for her to tell Lu that Bill wanted to talk to her, but she had promised him that she would, so she felt obligated....and Dr. Dana Stowe did not break promises. She cleared her throat. "Lu?"

"Yeah?"

"Bill wants to talk to you. He's waiting by your office."

"Dana, I told you yesterday that I don't..." Lu paused. "Is that why you're really here?"

"I was on my way into the clinic when Bill caught up with me and asked if he could talk to me. So we went into my office. Lu, he practically pleaded with me to talk to you. What could I do except to tell him that I would?" Dana questioned.

"What you should have done," Lu said "Was to tell him to go to..."

"Lu," Dana interrupted, again knowing what she was going to say, "You know I couldn't tell him that. But I think you should talk to him. He's hurting too, Lu. Maybe you can find out what happened."

"I think I know what happened," Lu replied, doing her best not to raise her voice in anger. 

"He allowed my son to ride his dirt bike without a helmet."

"You don't know that, Lu. Please talk to him. He is Marc's father."

"Don't remind me." Lu answered as she bolted out of her chair and headed towards the door.

"Fine. I'll talk to him. If it will get you off my back, I'll talk to him." 

Before Dana had a chance to say anything, Lu stormed out of the room. Dana got up and stood beside Marc's bed, silently gazing at the young boy. Gently touching his arm, she spoke softly. "Please pull through this, Marc. Don't give up the fight. Your mother loves you. She needs you, Marc." With that, Dana turned and walked out of the room.


	7. Accusations

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters

Chapter 7 Accusations

As Lu stormed down the hall towards her office, her mind was a flurry of jumbled thoughts.

"Hey, Lu..." Lana was surprised to see her friend coming down the hall, surprised that she had left her son's side, even for a moment. "How's Marc...?"

"Not now, Lana." Lu said as she pushed past her. Lana watched in shocked silence as Lu opened the door to her office, speaking harshly to the young man who had been waiting there for her.

"Dana said you wanted to talk. Fine. We'll talk. In my office. Now." Bill glanced quickly at Lana, then went into Lu's office. Lu turned to face him, arms folded across her chest. Bill knew right then that that was not a good sign.

"Look, Lu. I know you don't want to talk to me. But you can't avoid it forever. We need to talk about what happened to Marc."

"I know what happened to Marc." Lu replied. "You allowed him to ride that stupid bike without a helmet."

"I did not allow him to do anything." Bill said in his own defense. "He left the house on his own. He know's better than to go without a helmet. I don't know why he wasn't wearing one."

"You know perfectly well how I feel about him riding the dirt bike, but you allow him to do it anyway. It's always been like that, hasn't it, Bill? You always allow him to do whatever he wants. You think you can make up for all the years you weren't there."

"That's not fair, Lu. You can't blame me for this."

"He was at your house. He was your responsibility. And now he..." Lu paused briefly, then continued. "Well, Diane should be happy now."

"Leave my wife out of this," Bill replied angrily.

"Marc has never been nothing but an inconvenience to her." Lu said.

"You can't blame Diane for this either, Lu. Maybe you should take a good look at yourself....see who is really to blame for this accident." Lu stared at him in disbelief as the reality of what he was saying hit her: he was blaming her for their son's accident.

"You can't honestly believe that I am to blame, Bill. I was here at the clinic all day. Marc was at your house, remember?"

"But why was he at my house?" Bill questioned. "What made him call me the other night and ask if he could spend a few days with me? Can you answer that?" Lu was silent for a moment. No, she couldn't answer that. 

"You're his father. Is there anything wrong with a boy wanting to spend time with his dad?" Lu asked.

"Normally, no. But it's not like him to just call like that. And without even talking to you first. So maybe you would like to tell me what is going on with you."

"W...what do you mean?" Lu stammored, feeling her defenses melting away as the exhaustion threatened to take over.

"Marc was obviously upset with you about something. Maybe you should tell me what happened between the two of you before he called me." Bill could see that she was weakening, and at that moment, he could only think of hurting her the way she had hurt him by refusing to talk to him and blaming him for the accident.

"Come on, Lu. You did something. What was it?"

"I...I don't know. The past few days he's been kinda giving me the cold shoulder. I don't know why."

"And there's something else I've wanted to talk to you about." Bill said, knowing he might not get another chance to talk to her like this.

"What?" Lu asked, wanting nothing more than to run from her office and back to her son's room in ICU.

"We've always kept Marc's visits with me on a regular schedule. And whenever we've needed to change it, you've always given me several days notice. But lately, you've been sending him to me between scheduled visits and with hardly any notice at all." Bill replied.

"Does that bother you? I thought you would like to spend more time with your son."

"I do. I just don't like the thought of you pawning him off on me so you can spend the night with some new boy friend or something." Lu stared at him as she felt the anger rising within her.

"Pawning him off on you? Is that what you think? That I'm pawning him off on you? First of all, I don't pawn my son off on anyone. And second of all, I don't even know what you're talking about. I have never sent him to you just so I could spend the night with someone. Not that it's any of your business, but I don't even have a boy friend."

"Ok, then maybe you can explain to me why you sent him to me about a month ago with hardly any warning at all. There must have been a reason why you called one night and said you needed him to stay with me and you needed me to pick him up at school the next day. And you didn't even know how long you wanted him to stay with me. You just said that you would let me know. There must have been a guy involved in there somewhere." Lu felt the color drain from her face as she realized that he was referring to the days following her brutal rape. Needing to be alone to sort things out, she had sent Marc to stay with Bill. Bill was surprised when Lu suddenly went pale, and grabbed her desk for support. Not wanting to melt down in front of him, Lu took a deep breath. Bill saw her weakness, and decided to push her for answers. He knew something had been going on with her, and he was determined to find out what it was. After all, whatever it was, obviously affected their son.

"Come on, Lu. You might as well tell me the truth."

"I don't need to tell you anything." Lu said, heading towards the door. Bill grabbed her arm as she pushed past him.

"I know you, Lu. And I know that somewhere in this scenario there is a guy. And because of that guy, you didn't want Marc there." Lu pulled away from him, speaking angrily as she fought back tears.

"You wanna know everything? Ok, I'll tell you everything. Yes, there was a man involved. His name was Dr. Randolph Kilner. And he raped me. And after that, I was put on a leave of absence from the RWHC. Now why don't you just leave me alone and let me get back to my son?" Lu stormed out of her office, slamming the door shut behind her. Bill stared after her, trying to let her words sink in.


	8. A Silent Cry For Help

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters

  
  
  


Chapter 8: A Silent Cry For Help

  
  
  
  


Lu leaned against the bathroom wall and closed her eyes. After running from her office, she knew she needed to pull herself together before going back upstairs to her son. She glanced at herself in the mirror, slightly taken aback by her appearance. Her eyes were red and bloodshot with dark circles under them. Her hair, which had been pulled neatly back when she had arrived at the clinic the morning before, now hung loosely down around her shoulders. Staring at her reflection, she barely recognized herself.

"Come on, Delgado." Lu scolded herself out loud. "Snap out of it. What is happening to me?" Suddenly feeling very shaky and exhausted, Lu sank to the floor. She leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes again as tears began streaming down her cheeks.

Sitting on the hard, cold floor, Lu's mind drifted back to the events of the past several days. On Monday she had been glad to return to work after a forced leave of absence, but she had also been a bit nervous. Was she ready to return to her hectic schedule at the RWHC so soon after the trauma of her rape and the events that followed? She had tried to convince everyone, including herself, that she was okay. But she had noticed the looks of pity in the eyes of her co-workers, and the looks of concern in the eyes of her friends.

Her first day back had been a struggle, and she had asked herself if she truly was ready for all of this. Her friends often stopped by her office to see if she was okay and ask if they could do anything for her.

She had gone home exhausted, but with a great sense of relief that her first day back had ended without incident. She knew that each day would get easier. And with that thought, she had drifted into a restful sleep.

But the next morning had proved her wrong when she had become sick. Spending much of her time in the bathroom, she had been late for work. Shrugging it off as the flu, she had gone to her office to spend a few minutes alone before her first patient was due. Sitting at her desk she had begun looking through her calendar. It was then that she had realized that her period was over two weeks late. And it was never late. Horrified, she had come to the realization that maybe it wasn't the flu...maybe she was pregnant.

For much of that day she had isolated herself in her office as much as possible, not wanting to share her suspicions with anyone and not wanting anyone to question her. That afternoon she had been paged to the ER to assist Dr. Biancavilla with a gun shot victim. For the first time ever, she had become nauseated while treating a patient. She had seen the look in Nick's eyes...the look that said he knew something was wrong, that he was concerned about her. When he questioned her, she quickly told him that she had the flu, then went back to her office. When questioned by Dana a short time later, she once again insisted it was just the flu.

By Wednesday, she had been a bundle of nerves. She was edgy and distant, and spent much of her time in her office. Once again, she had been late for work that morning because of being sick. 

She had spent as little time as possible with her co-workers, only leaving her office when it was absolutely necessary.

That afternoon she had received an unexpected visit from her former boyfriend, Harry. Although she had been glad to see him, she had remained distant from him, causing him to question her behavior. Reluctantly, she had told him about the rape that had taken place several weeks earlier. She had allowed him to give her a hug then, but when he asked if she would join him for supper, she had declined. She was afraid to let him get close.

After Harry had left, she had been paged to ER to treat a rape victim in the same exam room where Dana had treated her after her rape. Nick had offered to page Dana to care for the young woman, but Lu had said that she could handle it.

But when the young woman was crying and saying that she was afraid of getting pregnant, Lu had become frozen, realizing that she herself had that very same fear. She didn't remember much about that woman or the exam. The next thing she knew Dana was in the room suggesting that she take a break. She had left the room, leaving her partner to finish the exam.

She had gone home early that afternoon, something she very seldom did, but feeling the need to get out of the clinic, afraid that if she remained longer she would let it slip about her suspicions, or make a medical error with a patient. Once at home, she had declined Marc's suggestion about going to a movie and had locked herself in her room, saying she was tired.

It had been later that evening when she had received an unexpected visit from Dana. She hadn't felt like talking, but her partner wouldn't take no for an answer. So Lu had given in and consented to talking to her. Or at least listening to her.

Finally, she knew she couldn't keep it to herself any longer, and had told Dana that she was afraid she might be pregnant. She had admitted to her partner that she was scared. She wasn't sure if she could raise another child alone. Becoming a mother at the age of 16 and raising her son alone had been hard. It had been a struggle to raise him and put herself through med school at the same time. And she didn't know if she could raise a child without seeing her rapist every time she looked at the child.

Dana had done her best to comfort and reassure her friend, and suggested that she come in first thing in the morning for a pregnancy test. Lu had agreed, knowing that she needed to find out as soon as possible.

As Lu thought back to that Wednesday night, she realized that it was that night that Marc had begun to act differently, as if something were bothering him. But he had insisted that he was okay, and wouldn't talk to her.

Thursday morning Lu had been nervous as she walked into Dana's office. She hadn't slept well the night before, feeling much anxiety about having the pregnancy test. What would she do if it turned out to be positive? Marc had stayed home sick that day, insisting that it was just the 24 hour flu.

The results of the test had been negative, and for the first time in several days, she had felt a great sense of relief., Now she had hopes that maybe things would get better. But they hadn't. That night while attending a birthday bash for Dr. Jackson, she had come face to face with Dr. Rand Kilner, the man who had raped her. And he had had the nerve to speak to her, acting as though nothing had happened. But she had managed to tell him off before running out of the room, escaping into the nearest bathroom.

She had arrived home that night to find her son sitting on the couch, back pack on his lap. It was then that Marc had informed her that he was going to spend a few days with his dad. It had been the first time he had ever made arrangements to stay with his dad without talking to her first. She had been exhausted, and didn't have the strength to argue with the young boy.

After Bill had picked Marc up, she had gone to bed. Because she was so exhausted, it didn't take her long to fall asleep. But she had been awakened an hour later by the horrible nightmare that had haunted her every night in the weeks following her rape.

She had arrived at the clinic on Friday morning totally exhausted. It had been a busy and hectic day, leaving her very little time for a break and no time to eat. Whenever possible, she had stayed alone in her office. Dana had stopped by, asking if she was okay. Dana knew that seeing Kilner the night before had been extremely upsetting to her. Lu had shared with her partner her concerns about her son's behavior, not understanding what she could have done to upset him.

Then it happened...an event that would once again turn her world upside down and threaten to destroy her. She had been paged to the ER, along with Dana. When she had arrived in the ER, Nick had tried to tell her that she had been paged by mistake, and Dana had tried to stop her from approaching the new patient. But she had pushed past Dana, stopping dead in her tracks, a look of horror on her face. It was her son. She had felt dizzy and lightheaded, and would have collapsed if Nick and Dana hadn't caught her and led her to a chair.

And now her son was upstairs fighting for his life. She knew she needed to get back to him, but she felt as though she didn't have the strength to pull herself to her feet. She hadn't slept in nearly 48 hours, and hadn't eaten in over 24 hours.

Lu pulled her legs up close to her body and wrapped her arms tightly around them, rocking slowly back and forth. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she cried silently to herself.


	9. Help Arrives

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters

  
  
  
  


Chapter 9: Help Arrives

  
  
  
  


"Good morning, Ms. Hawkins." Bob Jackson greeted the receptionist.

"Morning,' Dr. J. What brings you here on a Saturday?" Lana asked.

"I have some paper work to finish before the budget meeting on Monday. What about you? You don't usually work on Saturday."

"I stopped in to see how Marc is doing."

"And?"

"No change." Lana answered.

"And how is Lu?"

"I don't know. I saw her briefly as she rushed past me on her way to her office to talk to Marc's dad. I couldn't hear what was going on, but it sure didn't look like it was a quiet conversation. I don't even know where she is. I was just up in Marc's room, but she isn't there."

"Well, maybe she just needs a few moments to herself." Bob suggested. He knew that the past several weeks had been very difficult for Lu, and he didn't know how much more the young woman could take.

"Yeah, maybe." Lana answered slowly.

"Excuse me. Dr. Jackson?" Bob and Lana turned to see nurse Kelli Donovan.

"What is it, nurse?" Bob asked.

"Are you talking about Dr. Delgado?"

"Yes, we are." Bob answered.

"I saw her go into the ladies room a few minutes ago." Kelli indicated the nearest bathroom a short distance away. "She..she didn't look very good." Lana glanced up at Bob, a thoughtful expression on her face. Bob continued to read the file that he had begun reading a few moments earlier.

"Excuse me, Dr. J. I think I'll go see if I can find her." Bob nodded.

"That's probably a good idea, Ms. Hawkins. Let me know how she's doing." Lana nodded as she hurried down the hall towards the bathroom, a million thoughts racing through her mind. What had happened between Lu and Bill a short time before? Would she find Lu in the bathroom? And if so, what shape would she be in? The nurse had said that Lu didn't look very good...what exactly did she mean by that? And what would happen to Lu if her son lost his battle to live? She shuddered at the very thought.

Lana pushed open the bathroom door, stopping dead in her tracks. "My god, Lu." she said softly, taking in the sight before her. Lu was huddled in a corner legs drawn tightly to her chest, arms wrapped tightly around them. She was slowly rocking back and forth, her face streaked with tears. Lana approached her slowly, not wanting to startle her.

"Lu?" When Lu didn't respond, Lana gently touched her shoulder, immediately noticing that she was trembling. "Lu, please talk to me." Lu continued to stare ahead as Lana tried to get a response. "Lu, come on, baby. We need to get you to your office. You need to rest for a bit." Lana gently grabbed her arm, but Lu pulled away, not wanting her friend to know that she didn't have the strength to pull herself to her feet.

"Lu, please let me help you. You shouldn't be sitting on this cold floor." Lu finally looked up at Lana. The fire that Lana had seen in her eyes a short time earlier as she had pushed past her on her way to her office had been replaced by a look of sadness and fear.

"Come on, Lu. Let Lana help you up."

"I...I need to get...I need to get back to Marc." Lu whispered. Lana held her arm and helped her to her feet. Exhausted and shaky, Lu immediately dropped to her knees. Lana quickly realized that Lu was not doing well, and needed immediate help.

"I'll be right back, Lu." Lana ran out of the bathroom and headed down the hall towards the reception area, almost colliding with Dr. Jackson.

"Ms. Hawkins, what is your rush?"

"Sorry, Dr. Jackson. But I need you. Lu's in bad shape." Lana said quickly.

"Where is she?"

"The bathroom." Bob followed her to the bathroom, but paused outside the door.

"Ms. Hawkins, I can't go in there. In case you haven't noticed, it is the women's bathroom."

"I don't care about that, Dr. Jackson. Lu is in here, and she needs help. She can't even stand up You need to do something." With that, Lana opened the door and pushed him inside. Bob was just about ready to protest when he saw Lu sitting on the floor. It was obvious to him right away that Lana had been right. She was in bad shape and needed help. He hurried over and knelt beside her. "Dr. Delgado...Lu, Ms. Hawkins and I are going to help you to your office." Lu slowly shook her head. "No...I need to get back to Marc. Please, Dr. Jackson."

"You can go back to Marc after I check you out." Lu shook her head again. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Bob looked at Lana.

"Do you have any idea how long it has been since she's eaten?" Lana shook her head.

"I know she didn't eat anything yesterday since breakfast. She was pretty much on the go all day. And I know she hasn't gotten much sleep this week at all." Bob thought back to earlier in the week, and realized now that he had also noticed that she had appeared tired.

"Can't you do something, Dr. Jackson?" Lana questioned. Bob was silent for a moment as he carefully studied the young doctor. Her dark eyes looked tired, sad. Her pale cheeks were streaked with tears, as fresh tears welled up in her eyes. As Bob stared into her eyes, he saw more than just her tears and the sad eyes of a distraught mother. He saw a silent cry for help. Lu was never one to ask for help when she needed it, but now he could read it in her eyes.

"Well?" Lana asked.

"She is totally exhausted.. She needs to go home and get some rest. I can give her a script for something to help her sleep." Bob answered.

"You're crazy if you think she's going to leave that boy to go home."

"Yes, I thought of that. I'll have a cot set up for her in Marc's room."

"In ICU? Isn't that against the rules?" Lana asked.

"Yes, but I'll take full responsibility. I'll speak to the board. She can't continue like this. She has to get some rest. First, I want her taken to her office so I can check her BP. Then page nurse Riggs and have him set up a cot in Marc''s room." Lana nodded as she and Bob slowly helped Lu to her feet. They both noticed how weak she was as she leaned on them for support.


	10. A Matter Of Convenience

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters

  
  
  
  


Chapter 10: A Matter Of Convenience

  
  
  


Bill poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down at a corner table in the cafeteria, still trying to grasp Lu's final words...had she been telling him the truth, or was it just a cover up for something else? Lost in his own thoughts, he didn't hear Dana approach until she spoke.

"Mind if I sit down?" Bill glanced up.

"Sure, Dr. Stowe." Dana sat down across from him.

"You seem to be deep in thought. Did you talk to Lu?" Bill nodded.

"Yeah. She definitely blames me for Marc's accident."

"So...what happened?" Dana questioned. 

"I knew it was going to be bad the minute she stormed into her office. Maybe you were right. Maybe now wasn't the time to talk to her. Not only did she blame me for the accident, but she even went as far as to blame my wife. I...I told her that maybe she should take a good look at herself...to see who was really to blame for this." Bill answered

"Bill, you can't be serious. You blamed her? On what grounds? Marc was staying with you."

"Dr. Stowe, I know you are her friend. So I don't expect you to take my side or anything. But think about it. What did she do to Marc to make him call me and ask if he could spend the weekend with me? He has never done that without talking to Lu first. So she must have done something." Dana leaned back in her chair as she slowly sipped her coffee.

"I know that for the past couple of days Marc has seemed a bit distant, but Lu had no idea what was bothering him. He wouldn't tell her anything."

"Well, I knew I was in for a fight the minute I saw her. There was a point in our conversation where I could see that she was weakening. So I took advantage of it."

"What exactly do you mean by that?" Dana asked.

"There's been a few things lately that I've wanted to talk to her about and I knew I might not get another chance. So when I realized that her defenses were down, I went for it. I wanted to know why she has been sending Marc to my place so often lately."

"But do you honestly think that now was the time to bring up other things? I mean, her main concern right now is Marc. And that should be your main concern too. Now is not the time to try talking to her about other things that might be bothering you. Don't you think maybe that was a bit insensitive?" Dana took a sip of her coffee while waiting for an answer.

"When I saw that she was weakening, I wanted nothing more than to hurt her the way she had hurt me when refused to talk to me and wouldn't let me see Marc."

"Hurt her? In what way?" Dana questioned. Bill took a deep breath.

"Well, I asked her why she had suddenly sent Marc to my place about a month ago with hardly any warning at all, and she didn't even know how long she needed him to stay with me. She had just said that she would let me know." Dana quickly realized that Bill was referring to the weeks following Lu's rape, when she had been forced to take a leave of absence from the RWHC.

"And?" Dana raised her eye brows, letting him know that she was waiting for him to continue.

"As soon as I mentioned it, she went kinda pale. I thought she was going to faint. I told her that I knew there was a guy involved, and I didn't like the idea of her sending Marc to me just so she could spend the night with some guy. She said that she didn't need to tell me anything, and started to leave. But I wouldn't let her go."

"What?" Bill sighed.

"I grabbed her arm and told her that I knew there had to be a guy, and that if it affected our son, I had a right to know why she suddenly wanted to get rid of Marc."

"What did she say?" Dana asked, knowing how upset Lu would be when confronted in that manner.

"I should have known she would just give me some stupid story, just to get herself off the hook." Bill answered.

"What did she tell you?" Dana asked.

"She gave me some dumb story about being raped by some guy named Rand Kilner, then being put on a leave of absence. Have you ever heard anything so stupid?"

"Bill, you may not want to hear this. But Dr. Rand Kilner was the chief of surgery here. Lu was in the parking garage and her car wouldn't start. Kilner offered her a ride home. He walked her to her apartment to make sure she got there okay. He...he did rape her. How could you accuse her of lying about something like that?" Dana asked, remembering that she herself had done the very same thing in the ER that awful night.

"Because I know in the past she has lied. But...I had no idea. Why didn't she say something? Why didn't Marc tell me?" Bill asked softly, now regretting his intent to hurt Lu.

"Rape is hard to talk about. She didn't even tell Marc until a week after it happened.. After the rape, things just got worse for her. Kilner came back to work a week after it happened. When it went before the grand jury, he was aquitted due to insufficient effidence. Then Dr. Jackson forced her to take a leave of absence because he felt that she wasn't fit to care for her patients. This is her first week back to work."

"I had no idea things were that bad for her." Bill said. "Did...did he hurt her?" Dana stared at him for a moment.

"He raped her, Bill. Of course he hurt her."

"I mean did he beat her or anything." Dana shook her head.

"No. But your son almost got himself arrested."

"What?" Dana nodded

"After he found out what happened, he attacked Kilner. Kilner said that if he ever happened again he would press charges."

"So when she sent him to my house...."

"She needed time to herself to sort things out." Dana answered.

"But I still don't understand why Marc called me the other night. And when I picked him up, Lu seemed very...I don't know...very distracted, like she didn't even care. Like something else was on her mind."

"Bill, the night Marc called you, Lu attended a birthday bash for Dr. Jackson. There was another group at the plaza from Manhatten General. She came face to face with Dr. Kilner."

"Wow. I wish she would have told me some of this. I noticed that something was bothering Marc, but he wouldn't tell me anything. I just figured maybe he and Lu had a fight or something.

He seemed to be very quiet, very withdrawn. And when he ran out of the house yesterday..."

"Where were you when he left?" Dana asked. Bill took a sip of his coffee.

"Marc was in the living room playing video games. Diane and I were in the bedroom. We...we were having sort of an argument."

"Oh?" Bill nodded.

"Yeah. I had promised Diane that we would go spend the weekend with her parents. So she wasn't thrilled that Marc was there. She said that every time I plan to have time off or spend time with her and the twins, I end up with Marc. She said she had wanted the weekend to just be a family thing."

"What did you tell her?" Dana questioned.

"I told her that Marc is a part of the family and when he is with us and he should be treated as such. She said that Marc has scheduled visits with us, and that's great. But she planned this weekend around his schedule, and why couldn't I have told him no when he called." Bill paused briefly while he took another sip of his coffee, than continued. "I told her that Marc is my son and I can't tell him that I don't want to spend time with him, even if the time may be a bit inconvenient."

"You consider it inconvenient to spend time with your own son?" 

"Well, I..." Bill started but Dana interrupted.

"Do you think it was convenient for Lu to drop out of school when she was 16 to have a baby? A baby that you are partially responsible for? Or was it convenient for her to raise him alone and put herself through med school? Med school is tough enough without having to raise a child alone at the same time."

"Look, Dr. Stowe. I know I wasn't around much when Marc was little. And I know I didn't help her out like I should have. But I was a senior. I was getting ready to go to college. I wasn't ready to be tied down to a kid." As soon as the words were out, Bill knew he shouldn't have said them.

"That is a typical male response." Dana blurted out. "And what about Lu? Do you think she was ready to be tied down to a kid? She was still a kid herself. Bill, I've known Lu for almost 3 years, and in those years, I have learned a lot about her. Granted, we don't always see eye to eye in how we treat our patients, or whatever. But Lu is the strongest person I have ever met. She is a survivor. She is a fighter. She does whatever it takes to help her patients, often going well and beyond the call of duty. I used to criticize her practice and the people she cared for. But during her leave of absence, I took the time to care for her patients as well as my own, and I saw her in a whole new light. The rape almost destroyed her, Bill. And it almost destroyed her career here as well."

"If I had known all of that, I wouldn't have pushed her for answers." Bill said. "I'm sorry."

"It's not me you should be apologizing too. How could you purposely try to hurt her? Don't you think Marc's accident has hurt her enough?"

"I was angry that she refused to talk to me. I was angry that she wouldn't let me see Marc. All I could think about was getting even with her."

"Bill, the RWHC and her patients are her life. And the only thing in her life that is more important to her is her son. He is upstairs fighting for his life. And if he should lose that fight, there is no doubt in my mind that it will destroy her for sure. You are Marc's father. You should be trying to help her, not hurt her."

"You're right, Dr. Stowe. I'll try to talk to her again later, if she'll let me."

"Bill, is it possible that Marc heard you and Diane arguing?" Dana asked. Bill nodded.

"Yeah. We were pretty loud, I guess. He was in the living room, and the next thing I knew I heard the front door slam shut. I heard him leave on the dirt bike. I didn't realize that he hadn't worn his helmet. He knows better than that."

"I can imagine that he would be quite upset, hearing his dad say that spending time with him was an inconvenience." Bill nodded, but remained silent. What could he say? He knew Dana was right. He knew it wasn't the first time Marc had heard him and Diana arguing about him. Dana quickly finished her coffee.

"I need to get back upstairs. I'll see you later."

"Ok. And thanks for filling me in on Lu's situation. I'll try to talk to her." Dana excused herself, then hurried from the cafeteria, leaving Bill alone with his own thoughts, and wondering if he really would try to talk to Lu again. 

"I don't know how much more she can take," Dana whispered softly to herself. "She can't keep up like this. She sure doesn't look to be in good shape." Dana was unaware of how bad of shape her partner was in. But she was about to find out just how serious Lu's situation really was.


	11. First Do No Harm

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters

  
  
  
  


Chapter 11: First Do No Harm

  
  
  
  


After Dana had left Bill, she decided she'd go to Marc's room in ICU to check on Lu, not knowing what state of mind she would be in after being blamed for her son's accident, and being forced to relive the horrible night of her rape.

Dana quietly entered Marc's room. "Hey, Lu..." Dana stopped as she realized that her partner wasn't there. "This is weird," Dana whispered, surprised that Lu wasn't glued to her son's bedside, as she had been since he had been brought in the day before, only leaving to speak to the boy's father.

Dana left the room and approached the nurses station, speaking to a young nurse. "Have you seen Dr. Delgado?"

"Sorry, Dr. Stowe. I haven't seen her for the past hour or so."

"Okay, thanks." Dana was worried now as she hurried downstairs, deciding to check Lu's office. She had just reached the reception desk when she glanced up and saw Lana, Lu and Bob coming out of the women's bathroom.

Dana smiled at the sight of Dr. Robert Jackson coming out of the women's bathroom, but quickly realized that this was no laughing matter. Lana and Bob each held Lu's arm, obviously supporting her.

"Bob? What happened?" Dana questioned as she hurried over to them.

"I found her sittin' on the bathroom floor. Poor kid can hardly stand up." Lana answered quickly.

"She is totally exhausted." Bob added. "We're taking her to her office. I want her blood pressure checked immediately."

"Take her to my office." Dana ordered. "I want to check her out myself." Dana turned and headed towards her office, followed by Bob, Lu and Lana. Once inside the office, Bob assisted Lu onto the exam table while Dana quickly got the blood pressure cuff and put it on her arm.

"180 over 103." Dana announced momentarily.

"I want her admitted immediately." Bob said firmly.

"No way." Lu answered in a weary voice. "I need to get back to Marc."

"I'm sorry, Dr. Delgado. But until we get that BP under control, you are going to be admitted where you can be monitored." Lu shook her head.

"Over my dead body," she answered as she attempted to get down from the exam table. Lana quickly put her hand on Lu's arm.

"Which is exactly what it will be if you don't get that pressure under control. Lu, you can't keep up like this. You're going to kill yourself. Then what good will you be to your son? You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of that boy when he wakes up." Lu closed her eyes, fighting the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. She knew Lana was right. If her blood pressure continued to climb out of control, it could cause her to have a stroke or a number of other problems.

"Dr. Jackson, didn't you say that we could have a cot put in Marc's room for her?" Lana asked, remembering a few minutes earlier when she and Bob had been helping Lu.

"Yes, but that was when we thought she was exhausted and just needed rest. This is much more serious. She needs to be where she can be looked after and monitored carefully." Bob answered.

"Bob, why not let her stay in Marc's room? He's in ICU. She would be monitored constantly there." Dana replied.

"I'm sorry, Dana, but that would definitely be against hospital policy. I think you know that."

"Yes, Bob, I know that. But this is a special circumstance." Dana argued.

"I just don't know what the board would think..." Bob started, but Dana interrupted.

"When we became physicians, we took an oath that said first do no harm. I honestly believe that by putting her in a room away from her son will do her more harm than good. She needs to get rest, and how much rest do you think she is going to get when she is worried about Marc and can't be with him? I think we need to make an exception here, Bob. Lu isn't just any patient. You are the Chief of Staff here. Maybe you need to do what is best for one of your staff." Bob sighed, knowing that he had lost this argument.

"Fine. Ms. Hawkins, have Nurse Riggs set up a cot in Marc's room. I'll speak to the board."

"Right away, Dr. J." Lana answered as she hurried from the room.

"Thank you, Dr. Jackson." Lu whispered.

"Keep in mind, Dr. Delgado, that you will be supervised constantly. And if it appears that you are not getting the rest you need, I will personally move you out of Marc's room and into a room of your own. Do you understand?" Lu nodded.

"Yeah."

"Okay, then. I need to get some paperwork done. I'll talk to you both later." Neither Lu nor Dana spoke until he had left the room. Lu glanced up at Dana.

"Thank you, Dana, for talking Dr. Jackson into letting me stay with Marc."

"I meant it when I said that it will be best for you. And best for Marc too. You need to be together now, Lu. Now how about we get you settled in so you can get some rest?"

"I guess so." Lu answered, knowing that once again she was defeated.


	12. Dana's Thoughts

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters

  
  
  
  


Chapter 12: Dana's Thoughts

  
  
  
  


Dana sighed as she sat down at her desk a short time later. She had just gotten Lu settled in her son's room, and had given her a sedative to help her sleep. There had been no change in Marc's condition, and although Lu had argued that she didn't want to go to sleep because she wanted to be awake in case her son should wake up, Dana had insisted, reminding her that if she didn't get rest, Dr. Jackson would move her into her own room, away from her son. Reluctantly, Lu had agreed to take the sedative.

Sitting alone in the quietness of her office, Dana reflected on the events of the past several days, hoping to maybe be able to put some of the pieces together.

She could easily understand why Lu was in the shape she was in. The rape and the events that followed had sent her into a downhill spiral, her life spinning out of control.

She had returned to work very quickly following her rape, and had insisted that she was okay. But her friends knew differently. She often appeared edgy and distracted. And as each day passed, she became more tense, more tired, more nervous as she waited for the grand jury hearing, where she would come face to face with Dr. Randolph Kilner, the man who had raped her.

A week following the rape, Dr. Kilner had been released from jail and had returned to work. Dana, Peter and Lana had tried to convince Lu to take time off, but she had refused, once again insisting that she was okay, and she wasn't going to break.

Lu hadn't yet told her son what had happened that night, but a lecture from Lana had convinced her that she needed to tell Marc what had happened before he heard it from someone else.

Angry and upset, Marc had attacked Dr. Kilner. Kilner had told Lu that if it happened again, he would press charges against the young boy. Marc had blamed himself for what had happened that night, saying that if he had been home when he was supposed to be, he could have done something to stop him...as man of the house, it was his job to protect his mother.

Lu had told her son that she was okay, but Marc had argued that she wasn't okay. It was then that Lu had decided to go to the support group for rape victims.

Dana had thought that once Lu started going to a support group where she could talk about her feelings, she would start the long process of healing. But she was wrong. Things only got worse for her partner. 

As each day passed, Lu appeared to be more tired.. Still, she insisted that she was okay, saying that she just hadn't gotten much sleep. Knowing that she worked long days at the RWHC, everyone accepted her answer, although somewhat doubtful.

Then her son had told them the truth...every night she would wake up in a cold sweat from nightmares, and would be unable to go back to sleep.

Dana quickly realized then that she needed to do something to help her partner. But how could she help someone who wouldn't even admit that she needed help?

She knew that her partner would never agree to taking time off, so she had decided to take matters into her own hands.

Friday morning, four days before the grand jury hearing, Dana had instructed Lana to cancel all of Lu's appointments for the following Monday and Tuesday. She had the weekend off, and Marc would be staying with his dad, so she had hoped that with a couple of extra days off, Lu could get some much needed rest before the hearing on Tuesday.

Lu had arrived at the clinic late that morning, and it was clear to everyone that something was seriously wrong with the young woman. Her eyes were bloodshot with dark circles under them. When Nurse Peter Riggs had asked her to sign a lab report, her hands were shaking and she had dropped the clipboard. And several times she had had to pause and rub her eyes, waiting for her blurred vision to clear.

At Lana's request, Dana had gone to Lu's office to try to persuade her to take the remainder of the day off. And as she had expected, her partner had refused, insisting that she was okay, and not wanting to let her patients down.

Dana had invited Lu to spend the weekend at her place where she could get some rest, but Lu had declined the offer.

Then Dana had give Lu the news that she had asked Lana to cancel all of her appointments for Monday and Tuesday. And as expected, Lu hadn't taken the news well.

Again, Lu had insisted that she was fine But as she had walked around her desk towards the door, Dana had noticed how unsteady she was and reached out to touch her arm. Lu had stopped, turned around, then sank to the floor. She had quickly been taken to a room where she could be examined.

Dana's examination of her partner had confirmed that she was totally exhausted and her blood pressure was elevated.

Knowing that Lu wouldn't want to spend the weekend in the hospital, and that she wouldn't get much rest if she were allowed to go home, Dana had told her that she would only release her if she agreed to stay at her place until the grand jury hearing. Reluctantly, Lu had agreed.

Lu had been able to get some rest while staying at Dana's, but had awakened each night from the nightmare. She hadn't appeared to be hungry much, and Dana contributed that to nerves, knowing how nervous she was about coming face to face with Dr. Rand Kilner in the court room.

Dana had hoped that after the hearing, Lu would be able to put that night behind her and start to get on with her life and try to heal. But that didn't happen. The case had been dismissed, as the jury reported insufficient evidence. Kilner would not be sent to jail for what he had done to her.

With good reason, Lu had become angry. But she had refused to talk to anyone. Including her support group. After she had used spray paint to write the word "rapist" on Kilner's car, Dr. Jackson had put her on a leave of absence, stating that she was clearly unwell to take proper care of her patients.

Angry and confused, Lu had sent her son to stay with his dad. She had run out of her apartment, unable to remain in the room where the rape had taken place. After walking the streets in the pouring rain, she had ended up in a dance club, where she had been arrested for attacking a man who was bothering her.

After she had gotten out of jail, her lawyer, Jules Sorenson, had shown them both where rape kits are kept, many of them never solved. Soon after, Lu had returned to her support group. And with the help of the other members, she had put together a demonstration using the rape kits to share with others what happens to rape victims. And for the first time since the rape, Lu hadn't been angry at herself.

Dr. Jackson had attended the demonstration, and told Lu that she could return to work the next morning.

Dana leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. This was Lu's first week back, and it had been hard on her. As always, she had tried to convince everyone that she was okay, that she was putting everything behind her.

But they could see the truth. She was often edgy, and couldn't eat. She startled easily if someone came up behind her.

On Wednesday of this week, she had choked in the ER while treating a rape victim in the exact room where she herself had been treated weeks earlier. It had been apparent by everyone that something seemed to be bothering her, but they all knew better than to ask.

That Wednesday evening, Dana had decided to go to Lu's apartment to try to talk to her. Finally, Lu had broke down and confided to Dana that she thought she might be pregnant. And she was scared. She had raised her son alone and had put herself through medical school, but it had been hard. And she didn't know if she could raise another child alone. She had had to quit school when she got pregnant with Marc when she was 16. "One mistake in high school..."Lu had said.

Dana suddenly sat up in her chair as she remembered what Lu had said. Then she remembered that Bill had said that it could have been possible that Marc had heard the fight between his dad and his wife. "I wonder if..." 


	13. We Need To Make Some Changes

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters

  
  
  
  
  
  


Chapter 13: We Need To Make Some Changes

  
  
  
  


Bill drove home from the RWHC a short time later, his mind a whirlwind of thoughts...thoughts of his conversations with Lu and Dana, thoughts of his son lying in ICU fighting for his life, thoughts of his fight with his wife the day before, shortly before the accident. He wondered if maybe Dana had been right. Had Marc heard him and Diane arguing? If so, that would certainly explain why he had run out the way he did.

Before leaving the hospital, he had wanted to talk to Lu again, but had been unable to find her. She hadn't been in Marc's room or in her office. He finally decided that he would try to talk to her again tomorrow, when she had had some time to calm down after the way she had stormed out of her office earlier. He didn't realize just how serious Lu's situation was.

Instead of pulling into the garage as he usually did, Bill parked in the driveway and hurried into the house. He was surprised to find Diane sitting at the kitchen table.

"What are you doing here? I thought you and the girls were going to spend the weekend with your folks."

"We were...they are. When I told Mom and Dad about Marc, they thought I should be here with you. And they were right. I shouldn't have left." Diane walked over and put her arms around him.

"I'm sorry, Bill. It was selfish of me to leave yesterday after we heard about the accident. I mean, Marc is your son. You should be able to be with him without having to chose between him and us."

"The girls? They're staying with your folks?" Bill asked. Diane nodded.

"Yeah. When I decided to come home, they offered to keep the girls for a couple of days. I'll pick them up on Monday. Besides, Mom said they would like to spend some time with them. How is Marc?" Bill shrugged as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"He's in a coma. I only got to see him for a few minutes. It...it doesn't look good."

"What happened anyway?" Diane questioned.

"He was riding the dirt bike and got hit by a car. He wasn't wearing his helmet."

"He knows better than that," Diane said. "Why would he do that?"

"I think maybe he heard us arguing. He got upset and ran out."

"It must be more than that, Bill. The kid was upset when he got here. You said yourself that he just wasn't being himself. If you ask me, his mother must have done something to upset him. Have you talked to her?"

"Yeah, I talked to her." Bill said slowly, not wanting to go into his conversation with Lu.

"What did she have to say?" Diane asked.

"She...she blamed me for the accident."

"Excuse me? She blamed you? On what grounds?" Diane asked angrily.

"I guess because he was staying with me. He was my responsibility." Bill replied.

"But WHY was he staying here? Did you ask her that? Why did he call up on Thursday night and ask if he could spend the weekend here? He doesn't usually do that. So what did his mother do to make him want to leave?" Bill shrugged as he sat down at the table.

"I guess things have been pretty rough for her lately."

"And did you ask her about why she sent him here a few weeks ago with no warning at all? And she didn't even say how long she wanted him to stay. What kind of mother is that? I could never do that to the twins. I can only imagine how Marc must have felt, being shipped off like that for no reason." 

"She had a reason." Bill answered slowly, thinking about his conversation with Dana.

"Yeah, I'll bet she did...some new boy friend or something." Diane said sarcastically.

"Lu was raped." Bill replied.

"What?" Diane asked, not sure she had heard him correctly.

"Lu was raped." Bill repeated. "A few weeks ago. That's why she sent Marc here."

"You believe her? How can you be sure she wasn't just trying to make excuses?"

"When she told me, I thought for sure she was lying. Then I talked to Dr. Stowe."

"And?" Diane asked. 

"Lu was raped." Bill replied. "A few weeks ago. By the Chief of Surgery at Rittenhouse. When the case was dismissed due to insufficient evidence, she sort of started a downhill spiral. She was forced to take a leave of absence because the Chief of Staff didn't think she could take proper care of her patients. That's why she sent Marc to us. She needed time to sort things out. This was her first week back to work."

"So what happened to make Marc come here this weekend?" Bill shrugged.

"I don't know. Dr. Stowe didn't know either. She said that Lu had said that she thought something was bothering him, but didn't know what it was."

"Maybe she should have taken the time to find out. Any good mother would..." Diane started, but Bill interrupted, quickly coming to Lu's defense.

"She is a good mother, Diane. Marc is 15 years old. She can't make him tell her what's bothering him. Sometimes a kid just needs to work things out for themselves."

"Well, he sure did a great job, didn't he?" Diane questioned.

"I think maybe Lu was right. Maybe it was my fault." Diane stared at him in disbelief.

"You've got to be kidding, Bill. How could it be your fault?"

"I...I think maybe he heard us arguing. I guess if I had heard my father say that I was an inconvenience, I would run out too."

"Bill, don't blame yourself for this. And don't let Lu blame you either. Accidents happen. And it doesn't help to put the blame on someone. If anyone is to blame, it's the driver of the car. Or Marc. He wasn't wearing a helmet, and he must've ridden out in front of the car. Maybe the driver couldn't stop. Marc is old enough to know better." Diana paused to take a breath.

"Honey, Marc obviously ran out because he was upset. We can't blame him for running out after what he heard me say. If I had known that he could hear, I wouldn't have..."

"You wouldn't have said that it was inconvenient for him to be here this weekend." Diane finished for him. "Maybe I shouldn't have gotten so upset. But we did have plans to spend this weekend with my parents. And it seems like every time we plan to do something as a family, we end up with Marc. He does have scheduled visits with us. That's why we make our plans around those visits. I don't see why you can't just talk to Lu and tell her that we need more notice when Marc is going to spend a few days with us. Is that to much to ask?" Bill got up and began to pace, trying to put his thoughts into words. Diane watched him in silence, wondering what was going through his mind at that moment.

Finally, after several minutes of silence, Bill turned to face his wife. "Di, we need to make some changes around here." He stated firmly.

"Such as?" Diane asked.

"Well, for starters, we need to make Marc feel welcome, like he is a part of our family and not just a visitor that pops in every Wednesday and every other weekend. He needs to know that he is welcome here at any time, regardless of what our plans may be. If we have plans, then we need to include him."

"What brought this on all of a sudden?" Diane questioned.

"Dr. Stowe said some things that really made me think. And she was right. My son should never feel like he is an inconvenience. He should feel that he has two families who love him. I don't know what happened between him and Lu, but I should have tried to make him feel better. Instead, I hurt him."

"You're blaming yourself again, Bill." Diane said when he had paused to take a breath. "I don't know what that Dr. Stowe said to you, but it sounds to me like she tried to lay a guilt trip on you." Bill shook his head.

"Everything she said was true. I was 18 when I found out Lu was pregnant. I was a senior getting ready for college. I wasn't ready to be tied down to a kid. Lu was only 16, still a kid herself. She didn't get pregnant by herself, but she's had to raise our son by herself. And noone is to blame but me. I found out about the baby and I ran out, like a coward, instead of being a man and accepting my responsibility. Dr. Stowe was right."

"About?" Diane asked.

"Everything. Lu gave up her education and everything when she had Marc. Then she struggled and fought her way back and put herself through med school so she could provide a good life for him. I could have helped her more than I did. I should have helped her more that I did. Marc is just as much my kid as the twins. Maybe his mother and I were never married, but that doesn't change the fact that I am the boy's father." Diane studied him carefully for a moment.

"Bill, can I ask you something?"

"Of course. What?" Bill sat down at the table again. Diane hesitated for a moment, then asked softly. "Do you care about Lu?"

"Honey, of course I care about her. Maybe not in the same way that I care for you, and I don't love her, if that is what you're getting at. But I do care for her as a person. I wouldn't want anyone to have to go through what she has been through. Besides, she is Marc's mother. We should at least try to be friends. Marc sort of ties us all together. I know you don't often like the fact that Marc spends weekends here or that he stays on Wednesdays when Lu has the all night clinic. You always say that he cuts into our family time. But Diane, Marc is a part of my family. Just as much as Jaci and Janae," Bill said, referring to their 4 year old twin daughters. "The only difference is that he had a different mother."

"I'm sorry, Bill. I didn't even ask what the doctor said. Or how surgery went. Or anything." Diane said, quickly changing the subject. Bill took a sip of his coffee, then told her all that Dr. Ames had said after Marc had come out of surgery. When he finished, Diane walked over and put her arms around him, realizing now that her husband needed her support...someone to be with him while his son fought for his life in the ICU of Rittenhouse Hospital. Bill was right. They did need to make some changes...she needed to make some changes. And she knew where she would need to start.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	14. For Marc's Sake

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters

  
  
  
  


Chapter 14: For Marc's Sake

  
  
  
  


Sunday morning found Lu huddled in a chair beside her son's bed. The entire week had been difficult for her, but the past two days had drained her both physically and emotionally. With the sedative Dana had given her, she had been able to get some much needed sleep the night before, but had awakened early this morning. Sitting beside her son, she wondered if today would be the day he would wake up. There had been no change in his condition, and she knew that as each day passed with him in a coma, his chances of pulling through were slim. And she was scared. Marc was her life, and without him, what meaning would her life have? 

Being Sunday, Lu knew it would be quiet at the clinic. Dana, Peter, and Lana didn't work on Sunday's, so she knew she would be alone today...alone with her son, alone with her thoughts, alone with her fears. And in some small way, she was glad. She didn't feel that she needed her friends hovering over her, telling her what to do. All she needed was to be with her son.

Lu lightly touched her son's cheek, then leaned over and gently kissed his forehead.

"Please Marc. Open your eyes. Wake up. I'm not ready...I'm not ready to let you go, Marc. Plea..." Lu paused, unable to continue around the large lump in her throat. She kissed him again.

"I'll be right back, Kiddo." she whispered. "I'm gonna go grab a cup of coffee." Lu glanced back at him once more before quietly leaving the room.

  
  
  


Lu tossed her empty coffee cup into a nearby garbage can, then leaned against the wall and closed her eyes as tears began to spill down her cheeks. This was the first time she had left her son's room since Dana had given her the sedative the day before. Afraid of her son waking up and finding her crying, she had bottled up her emotions, and was trying to be strong for Marc's sake. But how could she be strong for her son when she was physically and emotionally weak? She had asked herself this question many times. The sleep she had gotten the night before had helped some but she still felt totally exhausted, at times even to the point of collapse.

"Excuse me. Lu?" Lost in her own thoughts, Lu hadn't heard the young woman approach until she had spoken. She quickly opened her eyes, almost feeling guilty that someone had caught her crying. She stared at the woman for a moment, wondering what she was doing here. 

"Yeah?" Lu finally managed.

"I...I was wondering if I might talk to you." Lu folded her arms across her chest as she glared at her. Diane Koffman shifted uneasily while waiting for Lu to answer.

"You might talk to me," Lu said as she pulled herself away from the wall, "But I can't promise that I will talk to you."

"H...how is Marc?" Diane questioned.

  
  


"What do you care?" Lu asked. "Did Bill ask you to come?" Diane shook her head.

"No. He doesn't know I'm here. And I care because Marc is my husband's son."

"Hmm. That's never mattered before." Lu said with unmistakable sarcasm in her voice.

"Are you saying that I don't care about Marc?" Diane asked. "And I don't know what you would know about it anyway."

"I know that every time Marc spends time at your place, you and Bill have a fight. And I also know that most of those fights are about him. I know that you don't like it when Marc is there because it takes Bill's time away from you and YOUR kids."

"Lu, it's not like that. I like Marc. It's just that.." Diane started, but Lu interrupted..

"Diane, I really don't feel the need to talk to you right now. I need to get back to Marc." Diane sighed, wondering how she could get Lu to talk to her without arguing.

"I know how you must be feeling, Lu. I would feel the same if it were one of my girls. Is there anything I can do?" Lu was silent for a moment as she considered Diane's question.

"Actually, there is. You can leave me alone. I've already talked to Bill. I have nothing more to say to either of you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have someplace else I need to be." Lu walked away, leaving Diane staring after her.

"You had no right to blame Bill for this accident, Lu." Diana said after a brief pause. Lu stopped, then walked back to where Diane was still standing. "That's exactly what it was. An accident. It wasn't Bill's fault."

"He was Bill's responsibility. Bill allows him to ride that bike, even when he knows that I don't approve. He went out without his helmet."

"That wasn't Bill's fault." Diane said in her husband's defense. "Marc knows the rules. He knows that he is not allowed to ride without a helmet."

"Don't you dare blame this on my son." Lu said, her tone angry now. "He is fighting for his life. And right now it doesn't look good. So don't you go blaming him." 

"Lu, I didn't come here to argue with you. Or to lay blame on anyone. I want to talk to you about Marc's visitations with us. Bill and I talked about this in length last night. We both agree that we need to make some changes. Is there someplace quiet where we can talk?" Lu glanced around at the almost empty hallway. Except for Dr. Nick Biancavilla a short distance away, they were alone.

"This hallway seems pretty quiet to me." Lu answered. "Just say what you came here to say so I can get back to Marc." Diane took a deep breath.

"Lu, both Bill and I agree that we need to make some changes. We..."

"You already said that." Lu interrupted, growing impatient now. "What kind of changes are we talkin' about here?"

"From now on when Marc is with us, he will be treated as one of the family. It should have been that way all along. He should never feel that he doesn't belong there. And I'm sorry for that. Really I am. I..." 

"You should be." Lu interrupted again. "Bill is Marc's dad. And he has a responsibility. He ran 

out on his responsibility years ago. And now when he is trying to do right by his son..." This time it was Diane who interrupted.

"I know that, Lu. I said I was sorry. What else do you want me to say? I've admitted that I was wrong in the way I've treated Marc. I wasn't being fair to him...or to Bill."

  
  


"It's been like that from the beginning, Diane. Don't think Marc doesn't tell me what goes on when he is with you." Lu replied.

"Lu, I didn't come here to argue with you. I thought maybe we could talk. There are some things that I think we need to talk about." 

"Well, ya know what? You're wrong. Because I don't think we have anything to talk about. I talked to Bill yesterday and I am done talking. My son is in ICU fighting for his life," Lu said, her voice rising. "And right now it doesn't look good. I need to be with him instead of wasting my time standing here arguing with you. Now if you'll excuse me." Lu turned and walked away. Diane watched her in silence for a moment, wishing there was something she could say to get Lu's attention, something that might make her come back to talk.

"Bill told me about your rape." Diane suddenly blurted out. Lu stopped dead in her tracks, standing still while fighting to compose herself before turning back to Diane. After a few moments, Lu walked slowly back to Diane.

"THAT is none of your business." Lu said angrily. "Or his either. He had no business telling you about that."

"Lu, I'm glad he did. It made me understand why you sent Marc to us when you did."

"You don't understand any of it." Lu said softly, remembering that awful night several weeks earlier. "Do you know what it's like to be held down while some guy forces himself into you? Do you have any...?"

"Yes, Lu. I do." Diana interrupted, speaking softly. "I was raped when I was younger."

"What?" Lu asked, not sure she had heard her right.

"I was raped while I was in college. Bill doesn't know. So when he told me about your rape and that you had been put on leave of absence from the clinic, I understood why Marc had been sent to us with no warning at all. Bill said it was because you needed time to sort things out. I wish you had told us. Maybe we could have done something to help you."

"Don't you think you've done enough?" Lu asked.

"Meaning?" Diane questioned.

"My son goes to your house one night and the next day he ends up in the hospital barely alive.

You allow him to ride that dangerous bike. He doesn't wear a helmet." Diane was silent for a moment as she searched for a way to respond to Lu's accusations without getting angry. She had come to the hospital in hopes of talking to Lu in a calm and rational manner. But she could see now that that would be an impossible task. Lu looked ready for a fight.

"You have no right to blame us for this accident." Diane said. "Accidents happen. I already told you that Marc left without his helmet. He knows better. He was upset. People don't always do what they should when they are upset. I'm sure you know that. Marc was upset when he came to our house the other night. We thought maybe you and he had a fight or something."

"We didn't have a fight." Lu replied. "He had seemed to be a bit upset the day or two before, but he wouldn't tell me anything. I wasn't even home when he called and asked if he could spend the weekend with his dad."

"Maybe if you had stayed home and talked to him, none of this would have happened. Did it ever occur to you that maybe he just wanted to talk?"

"I tried talking to him. Several times. He is 15 years old. If he doesn't want to talk, he ain't gonna. I went to a birthday party for my boss that night. I couldn't just not go. Believe me. I did not want to go that night." Lu answered.

  


"Lu, I didn't come here to argue or to lay the blame for what happened to Marc. I know how you must be feeling right now. I know I would feel the same way if anything like this ever happened to my girls. Bill and I would like to help you, if you'll let us."

"I already told you. I don't need your help. And I don't want your help." Diane was silent for a moment. She had remembered Bill telling her before that Lu was very independent and strong willed, and was not one to ask for help, even when it was obvious that she needed it.

"You really hurt Bill when you wouldn't let him see Marc and wouldn't talk to him. Marc is his son too. He has just as much right to see him as you do." Diane said, wanting Lu to be aware of the fact that she had indeed hurt her son's father. "You spend all your time helping other people, and yet you can hurt someone the way you hurt Bill. He was very upset when he came home yesterday."

"Well, I wasn't exactly jumping for joy when Marc showed up in the ER the other day. Or when he had to have brain surgery. Or when he slipped into a coma. The longer he is in a coma, the slimmer his chances are for a full recovery. And Bill wasn't the only one being hurt. He blamed me for the accident. He accused me of sending Marc to your place just so I could spend the night with a guy."

"Lu, if Marc hadn't been so upset when he arrived at our house, he probably would not have run out the way he did. Then he wouldn't have been hit by a car. I think Bill was right." Diane said accusingly. "We are not to blame for this. You are. If you were a good mother, you would have taken the time to find out what was bothering your son. If you were a good mother, you would have stayed home that night rather than going to a party. I would never leave my girls if I knew they were so upset. Lu, when a child is so upset, that is when he needs his mother the most. They need your love and support. And they need your time. All the time you can give them. I know you are busy here at the clinic. But maybe if you had spent more time with him, none..."

"How dare you come here and accuse me of neglecting my son." Lu interrupted, angry.

  
  
  
  


Nick had been listening to this conversation from the distance. From where he stood, he could see the anger in Lu's eyes as she fought to keep herself composed. Wanting to hurry to her aid, but knowing that he needed to get back to the ER, he quickly grabbed the file he had been looking for and hurried downstairs.

He had just reached the reception area of the clinic when he saw Dana come in.

"Hey, Dana. What brings you here on a Sunday?"

"I wanted to check on Marc. And Lu. Any change?" Nick shook his head.

"No. I haven't seen Marc, but Lu is upstairs arguing with Bill's wife."

"Bill's wife is here?"

"Yeah. She and Lu are arguing, and it looks like it can come to blows any minute. From what I heard, it sounds like the woman is blaming Lu for Marc's accident."

"I'd better get up there and see if there is anything I can do before the you know what hits the fan." Dana said quickly. "I'll see ya later." Nick nodded as Dana hurried upstairs

  
  
  
  
  
  



	15. Help Unwanted

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters

  
  
  
  


Chapter 15: Help Unwanted

  
  
  


Dana hurried upstairs to where Nick had said that Lu and Diane were. When she arrived, the hallway was empty. She glanced around. There was no sign of either Lu or Diane.

"Guess they must have settled it themselves." she told herself. "Lu must have gone back to Marc's room." Dana headed down the hall towards ICU, deciding to check on Lu before leaving the clinic.

  
  


Lu leaned against the wall outside her son's room. She closed her tear filled eyes and bit her lip, fighting back the sobs that threatened to overcome her. The argument with Diane had esculated until she couldn't take it any more, and she had walked away, leaving Diane alone in the deserted hallway. Now, feeling totally drained, both emotionally and physically, she wanted to pull herself together before going back into her son's room.

And that is where Dana found her a few minutes later. Dana had arrived in ICU and headed toward's Marc's room, stoppng a short distance away when she spotted Lu. Not wanting to startle her, she approached her slowly. "Lu?" Lu opened her eyes, once again embarrassed that she had been caught crying.

"What are you doing here? It's Sunday." Lu asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I wanted to see how you and Marc are doing. Any change?" Lu slowly shook her head.

"No." She whispered, too tired to say anything more" Dana was silent for a moment as she carefully studied her partner. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, a clear sign that she had been crying a great deal. The dark circles under her eyes signified the lack of sleep. Her long hair, which was usually pulled back neatly, now hung loosely around her face, with several strands stuck to her tear stained cheeks.

"Nick said Bill's wife was here. He said that you and she were arguing. Wanna talk about it?" Lu slowly shook her head.

"No. I...I can't, Dana. I'm sure you must have better things to do on your day off then spend it here." Dana gently touched Lu's shoulder.

"Lu, listen to me for a minute. I am here because I am concerned about Marc. And I am concerned about you, Lu. Look at yourself. You can't continue like this. You can hardly stand up. You are totally exhausted. You have got to get some rest. Look what happened yesterday. Do you want that to happen again? And you know what Bob said. If you don't get some rest, he is going to move you to your own room. Now I know you do not want to be away from Marc, so please try to get some rest."

"Dana," Lu said softly,"I know you are trying to help. But I don't need a lecture from you right now. Or anyone else. I don't want to talk about Bill. I don't want to talk about his wife. I don't want to talk about anything. I just want to get back in there with my son."

"Nick said that she..." Dana started, but Lu interrupted.

"I don't care what Nick said. Tell Nick to mind his own business."

"Lu, he is only trying to help." Dana said in Nick's defense. "We all are. But you won't let us. I know you are used to doing things for yourself, but everyone needs help sometime. You don't have to go through this alone. And if Bill and his wife are trying to blame you..."

"Dana, I can't talk about this right now." Lu said. "I know you're only trying to help. And I appreciate it. I really do. But right now I just want to be alone." With that, Lu turned and went into her son's room, leaving Dana staring after her.

"She's hiding something," Dana said softly to herself. "And it must have something to do with Bill and his wife. And the argument they had."

For a brief moment, Dana considered going into Marc's room and trying once again to try to get Lu to talk to her, but then decided against it. She knew Lu would talk about it when she was ready. 

But what she didn't know was just how heated the argument between Lu and Diane had gotten...did Diane blame Lu for Marc's accident? Or was there more to it than that? Dana didn't know, but she was determined to find out.


	16. Restless Night

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters

Chapter 16: Restless Night

Lu opened the door to Marc's room and ventured into the deserted hallway. It was 4am Monday morning, and after trying unsuccessfully throughout the night to get some sleep, she decided to get up and walk around for a bit.

Sitting alone in the darkness of her son's room had given her plenty of time to think, and for hours she had replayed in her mind the heated argument with Bill, and also the argument with his wife the day before.

Yesterday Dana had tried to get her to talk about the argument with Diane, but she had refused. Nick had told Dana that Diane had blamed Lu for Marc's accident, as he had overheard part of their argument. But what they didn't know was there there had been more to it than that. There had been other accusations as well...accusations that she was not ready to talk about with anyone. But after thinking about it during the night, she was beginning to wonder if maybe Diane had been right.

Lu walked down the empty hallway, almost in a trance. She was exhausted, and it showed. She was glad it was early morning because she knew she wouldn't run into Dana or Dr. Jackson. Neither of them would be pleased that she was up and walking around. Dr. Jackson's orders had been quite clear, and she knew he was serious about moving her to her own room if she didn't get some rest. Dana had given her a sedative Saturday night, and it had helped some. But after having the confrontation with Diane the day before, she couldn't settle down enough to rest. She was angry and upset. And adding that to her worry over her son made resting next to impossible.

"Dr. Delgado, what do you think you're doing? I'm sure Dr. Jackson's orders do not include roaming the halls at 4am." Lu turned to see the ICU Nursing Supervisor approaching.

"I couldn't sleep. I needed to walk around for a bit."

"Dr. Jackson said..."The nurse started, but Lu interrupted.

"I know what Dr. Jackson said. But it isn't his son lying in there fighting for his life."

"Look at yourself, Dr. Delgado. You are exhausted. You look like you haven't slept in weeks. If you don't start earing and get some rest, you'll end up in worse shape than you are now. Then what good would you be to your son? Your bp is sky high, making you a perfect candidate for a stroke. Dr. Delgado, Dr. Jackson said that if you don't get some rest, he'll move you to your own room. Now I know you don't want that. But maybe you should consider going home to get some rest for a few hours. If there's any change in your son's condition, we'll call you." Lu leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, sighing heavily.

"I can't leave him, Mayvis. I need to be here. I need to be here when he wakes up. I'm his mother. I need to take care of him." At that moment, the older woman's heart went out to the younger woman.

"I understand, Dr. Delgado. Really, I do. But I also understand what is going to happen to you if you don't get some rest. And when was the last time you had something decent to eat?" Lu slowly shook her head. She honestly couldn't remember.

"I...I need to get back to Marc." Lu said, quickly changing the subject, not wanting the nurse to question her any longer.

"And please try to get some rest." Lu nodded, then headed down the hall towards her son's room.

"Morning, Lana." Dana greeted the receptionist later that morning. "Have you seen Lu or Marc this morning yet?" Lana shook her head.

"No, but you have a message here from the ICU nursing supervisor. She wants to talk to you. She said she's off at 7, but would wait for you upstairs."

"I'd better get up there then. I have some time before my first patient arrives."

When Dana arrived upstairs, she found Mayvis standing near the nurses station.

"Morning, Mayvis. Lana said you wanted to see me?" Mayvis nodded as she hurried over to Dana.

"It's about Dr. Delgado. I'm really worried about her."

"You and everyone else." Dana answered. "Did something happen?"

"I found her roaming the halls at 4:00 this morning. I told her that she needed to try to get some rest, but she said that she couldn't sleep and needed to talk around for a bit. Dr. Stowe, she can hardly stand up. She looks like she hasn't eaten in days. I even suggested that she go home for a few hours to get some rest. But she..."

"Refuses to leave Marc." Dana finished. Mayvis nodded.

"I checked on her a few times during the night, and she was just sitting there staring at the boy, like she was willing him to open his eyes. She didn't even know I was in the room. And when she was walking around, I thought for sure she was going to collapse. I just wish there was some way to help her."

"I know, Mayvis. We all want to help her. But right now the only thing that will help her is for her son to wake up." Dana replied.

"And something else seems to be bothering her, but she won't talk." Dana nodded.

"Yeah, she won't talk to me either. The only thing to do is to just wait until she is ready. When she is ready, she will talk. She just needs time. And right now, that is the best thing we can do for her—just give her the time she needs."

"I just hope Dr. Jackson doesn't decide to put her in her own room in the mean time." Mayvis said. "I mean, she isn't getting the rest she needs by staying with her son, and Dr. Jackson did say that he would move her if she didn't." Dana nodded. She knew the Chief of Staff was serious. But she also knew that moving Lu to her own room would do more harm than good. She knew her partner needed to be near her son.

"Thanks for filling me in, Mayvis, I'll go check on her before I go back down to the clinic."

Dana pushed open the door to Marc's room, knowing perfectly well where she would find her partner. And she was right. Lu was sitting beside her son's bed, resting one hand on his arm while tracing the outline of his face with the other.

"Hi Lu." Dana said softly.

"What are you doing here?" Lu questioned without looking up.

"I wanted to see how you're doing before I get started with my patients. How's he doing?" Lu shook her head.

"No change. I...I'm losing him, Dana." Lu's voice was barely above a whisper. Dana gently put her arm around Lu, wanting to comfort her is some small way.

"I know it's hard to see him like this, but please don't give up on him, Lu. He needs to know that you're pulling for him. Yes, he is in a coma. But that doesn't mean that he won't come out of it.

"Dana, you and I both know that the longer he is in a coma, the less chance he has of..." Lu's voice trailed off.

"Lu, Marc is a fighter. He will fight his way back. You've got to believe that. He knows you're here waiting for him." Dana said, trying her best to encourage her partner.

"Dana, what if he doesn't want to come back? He was angry with me about something when he went to Bill's that night. Maybe he won't put up a fight. Maybe he..."

"Lu, Marc loves you. You know that. Even if he was a little upset that night, he still loves you. I know that he is going to continue to fight for his life." Lu sighed.

"I just wish I knew why he was upset with me. What did I do to make him want to spend that night with his dad? I don't remember doing anything. One day he was fine, and the next he was hardly speaking to me. But I must have done something, Dana. Or he wouldn't have left like that." Dana opened her mouth to speak, then paused as she remembered her earlier thoughts, the sudden realization as to why Marc may have been upset with his mother.

"Lu, can I talk to you for a moment? In the hall?"

"If you need to talk to me, Dana, I'm sure you can do it right here." Knowing that it was possible for a person in a coma to hear what was going on around them, Dana knew that it would be best not to talk to Lu here, where Marc could possibly hear.

"Please, Lu. I'd rather talk out in the hall" Lu glanced at Dana for a moment, then shrugged.

"Yeah, okay." Lu leaned over and kissed her son gently on the cheek, then followed Dana out into the hallway.


	17. Putting The Pieces Together

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters

Chapter 17: Putting The Pieces Together

"So what is so important that you couldn't talk to me in there?" Lu questioned Dana as she closed the door to Marc's room.

"Lu," Dana started, then paused, unsure of how she should start.

"Lu," she started again. "I've had a chance to talk to Bill. And I..."

"You called me out here to tell me that? Dana, right now I don't want to even talk about him. I just..."

"Lu, listen to me for a minute. Talking to Bill sort of helped me understand why Marc may have run out the way he did. Bill said that he and his wife had been arguing, and he thinks maybe Marc may have heard them."

"And I suppose they were arguing about him." Lu stated. "Every time he goes over there, they argue about him. Diane seems to have a problem with Marc spending time at their house. If I had them arguing about me, I would have run out too. I guess that explains a lot of things, doesn't it?" Lu turned to go back into her son's room. Dana gently touched her arm.

"Lu, wait. There's more." Lu stopped and turned around.

"What?"

"I also think I know why Marc may have been upset with you these past few days."

"Oh yeah? And how did you figure that out?" Lu questioned rather sarcastically, wondering how Dana could have figured it out when she herself hadn't been able to figure out or understand why her son had been upset with her.

"Lu, remember last Wednesday night when I came over to your apartment to talk to you because we all knew something was wrong, but you wouldn't talk to anyone?"

Lu nodded. Yes, she remembered that night. It was the night that she had confided in Dana that she feared she could be pregnant by the man who had raped her.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Lu asked.

"I was sitting in my office the other day, and I suddenly thought of something you said, something Marc may have heard."

"And that was?" Lu asked, growing impatient.

"Lu, you were talking about how hard it was to go to med school and raise your son alone, and how you had to drop out of high school when you got pregnant."

"What about it? Marc knows the story, Dana. He knows how old I was when he was born. He knows I had to drop out of school. And he's okay with that. He knows that I love him and did whatever I had to do to give him what he needed."

"Somewhere in our conversation that night, you referred to your pregnancy as one mistake in high school. And I... and I think Marc may have heard you. I mean, he was in the other room while we were talking."

"But I didn't mean..." Lu started, then stopped as she quickly realized how that must have sounded to her son.

"Oh my god, Dana. I didn't mean..." Lu leaned against the wall as tears began streaming down her cheeks.

"I love my son, Dana." She said softly.

"I know you do, Lu. There's no doubt in my mind that you love him. But if he heard you say that, that could explain why he has been so distant these past few days."

"Did...did Bill say what Marc may have over heard him say?" Dana nodded.

"Yeah. He said that during the argument, he may have said that having Marc stay with them now wasn't exactly convenient, but because Marc is his son, he just couldn't tell him that he couldn't stay."

"My god, Dana. Marc heard his mother say that he was a mistake, and his father say that he was an inconvenience. When I said that, I didn't mean..."

"I know what you meant, Lu." Dana said softly. "You were 16. At that time, it was a mistake. But you were responsible and took care of your baby. You did what you had to do to provide for him. And look at where you are now. You have given him a wonderful life, Lu. You have to believe that."

"But how can I convince him of that when he thinks that I think of him as a mistake?" Lu questioned.

"Lu, Marc is a very lucky kid. He has two parents who love him very much. But sometimes parents do make mistakes, and they say the wrong things. I know that you didn't mean that you regret having him. I wish all kids could have the kind of love and care that you give to Marc. You are a very good mother, Lu." Lu closed her eyes as the thoughts of her argument with Diane came back to her.

"Maybe I'm not, Dana." Lu said, her voice heavy with emotion as she fought the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. It was obvious to Dana that her partner was holding something back, something she seemed to not want to talk about.

"Lu, I know it's none of my business, but what is it you are trying not to tell me? I know Bill's wife was..."

"You're right, Dana. It's none of your business." Lu pulled herself away form the wall and walked briskly down the hall, leaving Dana staring after her. 

As Lu stormed down the hallway, her mind was a mass of jumbled thoughts.

Approaching the nurses desk, she suddenly stopped dead in her tracks as she was overcome by dizziness. Lu quickly grabbed the desk to steady herself.

Dana, who had been watching her from the distance, immediately realized that her partner needed assistance and rushed down the hall.

"Lu? What's wrong?" Dana asked as she quickly grabbed onto Lu's arm. Lu slowly shook her head.

"I...I don't know." Lu said softly. "I just got dizzy."

"Come over here and sit down." Dana led her to a nearby chair. Lu sat down and closed her eyes. The headache that had started late last night had become worse, and now her head was pounding. She knew that that was probably the cause of her dizziness.

For a few moments the two women sat in silence, each with their own thoughts. Lu's mind was spinning with thoughts of her son, thoughts of the confrontations with both Bill and Diane. Dana's thought centered around Lu. She was worried about her partner. She knew it was possible that the dizziness could easily be a result of the high blood pressure. And also from the exhaustion. She knew that Lu had not slept much since Marc had been brought into the ER several days earlier. And she also knew that she hadn't been eating either. She believed it would be only a matter of time before Lu would break.

"Lu, I'm sorry. But I felt I had to tell you. I thought it might help put the pieces together as to why Marc was upset with you." Lu took a deep breath, then turned to face Dana, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I'm glad you did, Dana. At least now I know what I did to upset him. I just hope I get a chance to tell him how much I love him."

"I'm sure he knows that, Lu." Dana answered softly.

"Maybe Diane was right." Lu said.

"About what?" Dana questioned.

"Maybe this was my fault. Maybe...."

"Lu, don't think for a moment that this was your fault. And don't let her and Bill blame you for it either. It was an accident. Accident's happen. Putting blame on anyone is not going to help Marc." Dana said firmly. "You've got to..."

"They want Marc." Lu said, interrupting.

"What?" Dana asked, not sure she had heard her right.

"They want custody of Marc."

"Lu, there is no way they are going to get custody of Marc. No judge in his right mind would grant it. The only way that would ever happen is if they could prove you were an unfit mother. And that will certainly never happen." Lu took a deep breath, realizing that now was the time to tell Dana what Diane had said.

"They think I am unfit. Diane said Marc spends way to much alone because I am always here at the clinic. She says he needs a mother who spends time with him. And that I was wrong to leave him alone that night when it was obvious he was so upset, that I shouldn't have gone to Dr. Jackson's party."

"Lu, that is totally absurd. You are a good mother. Yes, you spend much of your time here, but that does not mean that you are not a good mother. You are doing what you need to do to provide for him. Any judge would see that."

"But maybe I'm not giving him everything he needs, Dana. Maybe Diane is right. Maybe he would be better in a two parent home. Maybe Bill and Diane could give him more than...."

"Lu, you know that isn't true. You sound like you're giving up." Dana knew that giving up was definitely not Lu's style, but she was emotionally and physically exhausted. And Dana could readily see that she didn't have much fight left in her. She knew she would need to do whatever was necessary to help Lu continue to fight for her son's life, and also to fight for custody if it came down to that.

"Lu, you are not going to lose your son." Dana said with determination. "No matter what. Marc is going to win the fight for his life. You'll see. He's a fighter, just like you. And he learned that from you. He has seen what you have had to do to become what you are. He has seen how hard it has been for you."

"And he also heard me say that he was a result of one mistake in high school. Do you have any idea how that must have made him feel, Dana?"

"Lu, listen to me for a minute. I know that you did not mean that you regret having him. And I am sure that Marc knows that too. I'm sure that when he heard you say that, it upset him, and maybe he even questioned your love for him. But when you talk to him and tell him what was going on that night, he will understand that you said those words out of fear. I mean, you were afraid that you were pregnant, and you were afraid of raising another child alone. That would be scarey for anyone. Especially after you had already raised one child on your own. And I know it hasn't been easy. Especially when Marc was little and you were going to med school. And he will understand that too. And Lu, I know that if Marc were given a choice as to which parent he would want to live with, he would choose you."

"Y...you think so?" Lu asked softly. Dana nodded.

"There's no doubt in my mind, Lu. And besides, Bill wouldn't get Marc without a fight...from both of us." Lu was silent for a moment as she thought about Dana's words.

"You mean you'd help me fight Bill?"

"Yes Lu, I would. Marc belongs with you. Noone has the right to take him from you. Not even his father. Right now everyone is worried about him, and things are being said out of fear and anger. Maybe sometime after Marc wakes up, you and Bill can sit down and talk. Put aside your anger towards each other, even just for a short time. For Marc." Lu bit her lip. What Dana was saying did make a lot of sense.

"T...thanks, Dana. I'll try to talk to him. For Marc." Dana smiled.

"Now how about we go back to Marc's room? You've been up all night, and I think you should lie down and try to get some rest for a few hours." Lu nodded as she forced herself to her feet.

"You'd better get back to the clinic. I'm sure you have patients waiting."

"They'll wait. I'll walk down to Marc's room with you. I'd like to see how he's doing." Lu nodded. She knew that Dana was only going with her to make sure that she would get there without having another dizzy spell, and also to make sure that she would lie down and try to rest.

Lu walked slowly beside Dana as they walked down the hallway towards Marc's room. She still felt a bit unsteady on her feet, and was actually looking forward to settling down on her cot beside her son's bed.


	18. Midnight Miracle

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters

Chapter 18: Midnight Miracle

Dana quietly slipped into Marc's room. It had been hours since her shift had ended, but an hour earlier she had been paged to assist in the ER. Now it was almost midnight, and she wanted to check on Lu before going home for the night.

The room was dimly lit by a small lamp beside Marc's bed, and the only sounds came from the many machines that were keeping the young boy alive. Dana glanced around, visually checking the machines for any changes. No, there appeared to be no changes.

In the darkness, Dana noticed Lu sitting beside her son's bed. Her left arm was draped across his chest, while she held his hand with her right hand. Her head was resting on her left arm, and Dana noticed immediately that Lu was asleep.

Dana picked up the extra blanket from the foot of Marc's bed and gently covered her partner, glad that she was getting some much needed rest. Lu stirred, then slowly opened her eyes.

"What time is it?" She asked.

"Almost midnight." Dana answered.

"Midnight? What are you doing here?" Lu questioned, quickly realizing how unusual it was for Dana to be here at this late hour.

"I was paged to the ER about an hour ago, so I thought I would check on you and Marc while I was here. I didn't mean to wake you."

"That's ok," Lu said, yawning. "I just couldn't stay awake."

"Of course not, Lu. I mean, you've been up for many hours, and your body is telling you that you need to rest. We've been trying to tell you that for days."

"Yeah, I know. But I need to be awake for Marc. That's what's most important right now." Lu stood up, then rubbed the back of her neck. "You should go, Dana. It's late, and I'm sure you've got an early morning tomorrow." Lu walked over to the window and stared out into the darkness, not wanting her partner to see th tears streaming down her cheeks.

Dana walked over to Lu and put her hand on Lu's shoulder. "Lu, Marc will be ok. I have a good feeling."

"Sometimes a good feeling just doesn't cut it." Lu said softly. She had often said that same thing about a patient, only to lose the patient. Dana knew Lu was right. Even the best of doctors couldn't always predict the outcome of a patients situation.

"Lu, I wish there was something I could do for you. We all do." Lu nodded silently. She knew her friends wanted to help. But what could they do? They couldn't bring her son out of his coma. They couldn't promise her that he would live.

"If he dies, Dana..." Lu's voice trailed off. Dana took a deep breath. What else could she say? She had tried to comfort Lu in some small way, but how do you comfort a woman who was watching her only child slip away from her?

The two women stood there in silence for what seemed like hours, but in reality, it was only a few moments. Dana knew that even though no words were spoken, Lu knew her friend was there to support her.

As Dana stood there beside Lu watching out the window, she suddenly had the eerie feeling that she was being watched. Had someone else quietly entered the room without them noticing?

Dana turned around to see who may have come into the room, but noone was there. Shaking her head, she turned her attention back to Lu. But still, the eerie feeling of being watched continued. She turned around again. This time she realized who was watching them. She bit her lip as a lump formed in her throat. Not taking her eyes off Marc, she gently grabbed Lu's arm.

"Lu, look." She whispered. Lu took a deep breath, then turned around to look at Dana.

"Dana, what?" Dana nodded towards the bed.

"Look, Lu." Lu was just about to speak when she noticed that her son's eyes were open and he was staring at them.

"Marc?" Shaking, Lu hurried over to his bed, followed by Dana. Afraid that she was only dreaming, Lu gently took his hand in her own.

"If you can hear me, squeeze my hand." Lu said, her voice trembling. She immediately felt her son squeeze her hand. It was slight, but it was there. Without taking her eyes off her son, Lu spoke.

"He's awake, Dana. He responded."

"He sure did, Lu. Marc got his miracle."

"I got my miracle, Dana. I got my son back." Dana nodded. She knew now that Lu and her son would be okay.


	19. Talk

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters

Chapter 19: Talk

"Mind if I join you?" Lu glanced up to see Bill standing beside her table in the cafeteria. She shrugged as she took a sip of her coffee. Bill pulled out a chair and sat down across from her.

"Can we talk?" Lu was silent for a moment as she took another sip of her coffee. Finally, she put her cup down and glanced up.

"What about?"

"About Marc, about what happened." Bill replied.

"We've already talked about what happened." Lu answered.

"I know, but some things have surfaced that I think we need to talk about. And now that he is going to be okay, I think it's time we talked again. Maybe we can talk a little more calmly than we did last time." Lu was silent as she thought about what he said. She sighed.

"What's on your mind, Bill?" Her tone was slightly irritated, sounding tired.

"I'm sure Dr. Stowe told you that she talked to me and that I told her that Marc may have heard Diane and I arguing." Lu nodded.

"Yeah, she told me. And I told her that I wasn't surprised because it seems like you and Diane always argue about him when he is with you."

"Lu, I am sure that Marc heard us. That is why he ran out the way he did, without wearing his helmet. He was upset. And I don't blame him. If I had heard my dad say that having me there was inconvenient, I would run out too. I guess we never thought that he would hear us, or how he would feel. I guess I blamed you because it was easier to blame you than to accept the fact that what I had said could've killed my own son. You were right. Marc was at my house. He was my responsibility." Lu took a sip of her coffee.

"It wasn't just your fault." Lu said softly. "It was mine too."

"What?" Bill questioned.

"I think he heard me say something too. Something that wasn't meant the way he probably thought it was."

"I don't understand. What could you have said to upset him?" Bill asked. Lu took a deep breath.

"I...I had a lot on my mind that week. I was distracted. It was my first week back after my leave of absence. I thought I was doing okay. I was trying to put the rape behind me. But....well, I was tired all the time, and often sick to my stomach." Lu paused, taking a slow sip of her coffee.

"That's to be expected." Bill said. "You had been through a great deal."

"I took care of my patients, but did my best to stay away from Dana and the others. I couldn't face them. I didn't want to answer their questions."

"Questions?" Lu nodded.

"I love them dearly, but they are a nosy bunch. I...I wasn't ready to share my suspicions with them. I was afraid that I was pregnant....by the man who had raped me."

"And?" Bill asked.

"The day before Marc went to your place, I had gone home early. I just needed to get away from the clinic. The last straw was when I treated a woman in the ER who had just been raped and was afraid of getting pregnant. I just couldn't take it any more."

"I don't blame you for that. It must have been difficult for you, Lu." Lu nodded as she continued.

"That night Dana came to see me. She wanted to know what was going on with me. I tried to tell her that I was okay, but she didn't buy it. Finally, I couldn't take it any more. I had to tell her that I suspected I could be pregnant by Rand Kilner. I...I was scared. I didn't want to be pregnant. At least not with HIS baby. I remember telling Dana how hard it was to raise one kid on my own, and I didn't think I could do it again. At some point in our conversation, I said something about one mistake in high school. I think Marc heard me and..."

"He thinks that maybe you think having him was a mistake." Bill finished for her. Lu nodded.

"Yeah. I didn't remember it, but Dana did. And I think she is right. It was right after that night that he became kinda distant. I could tell he was upset, but he wouldn't talk to me. I just thought of it as a teenager mood thing. The night he called you, I was at a birthday party for Dr. Jackson. That was the last place I wanted to be, but he is my boss so I sort of felt obligated." Bill nodded in understanding.

"There was a medical conference at the plaza also. I...I saw Rand Kilner there." Lu felt a lump form in her throat at the mention of his name.

"The guy who raped you?" Bill questioned. Lu nodded.

"Yeah. And when I got home, Marc informed me that he had called you. I was angry at seeing Kilner, and I was to tired to argue with him. So I just let him go. Diane was right. Maybe if I had stayed home..."

"Diane? What does she have to do with this?"

"She came to see me the other day. She accused me of not spending enough time with Marc. She blames me for this accident. And I guess in a way, she is right. It is my fault. If I hadn't said what I did..."

"Lu, listen to me for a minute. I know we don't always agree on things. And I know I didn't help with Marc like I should have while he was growing up. He is just as much my responsibility as he is yours. I mean, it takes two to make a baby. I guess we are both to blame for this. We both said something that hurt him. Now we have to make him understand how much we both love him." Lu stared into her coffee cup as she ran her finger around the rim of the cup. Bill watched her in silence for a moment, waiting for her to respond.

"You can't have him, Bill." Lu suddenly blurted out.

"What?" Bill asked, not knowing what she was talking about.

"You're not going to take him away from me. You can't have custody of him." Lu said firmly.

"Lu, I don't want custody of him. Whatever gave you that idea? I mean, I love my son, but I have my own family now. Marc belongs with you. I am happy with our visitation schedule the way it is. It would be wrong for me to take him from you. And it would hurt both you and him. I...I couldn't do that. I wouldn't do that."

"But Diane said..." Lu started, then stopped. Bill shook his head.

"Lu, I don't know for sure what Diane said, but I am sure that whatever it was, she just said it to hurt you. Diane does not want custody either. But things will be different from now on when Marc is at our house. I can promise you that. Marc will never again feel that he is not welcome there. And anytime you need some time alone, I want you to call us. Marc is welcome anytime, not just on his regular scheduled days and weekends."

"Do you mean that?" Lu asked. Bill nodded.

"Yes, Lu. I mean that. Marc is a wonderful kid, and it's because of you. It's high time I took more responsibility for him. And I want to start now, if you'll let me. I'm asking you to let me help you raise our son. In a few years he will be out on his own, I know. And I know I can never really make up for the years that I didn't spend time with him. Or the years that I didn't help you support him. But I want try to start fresh, Lu. I want to spend more time with him. I want to include him on family vacations. This accident has made me realize so much. We almost lost him, Lu. And when I thought that I would never see him again, I realized that I need him in my life. He is just as much a part of me as my twins. And I need to show him." Bill finished, taking a deep breath.

"I...I guess maybe we both learned somethin' through this." Lu said softly.

"Yeah, I think we did." Bill agreed. Lu glanced at her watch.

"I...I need to get going. I've got a meeting with Dr. Jackson." Lu quickly finished her coffee, then stood to go.

"Lu?" Bill also stood up.

"Yeah?" Bill cleared his throat nervously.

"Thanks."

"For what?" Lu asked.

"For talking to me just now. I know you've been through hell since the accident, and I didn't help matters any. I know I just made things worse for you. Diane did too. I wouldn't have blamed you today if you had refused to talk to me." Lu bit her lip, trying to find something to say.

"Bill, the only reason I agreed to talk to you today was because I was to exhausted to say no. But we were able to clear up a few things. Marc is going to have a long recovery, and it will be up to us to help him. Both of us."

"I want to help in anyway I can, Lu. I really mean that." Lu was silent for a moment as she searched his face.

"I believe that, Bill. I really do. I need to get going or Dr. Jackson will have my hide. Maybe you'd like to go spend some time with my...I mean, our son." Bill nodded.

"Yes, I would. Thanks." Lu nodded, then hurried out of the cafeteria, leaving Bill watching after her.

"Marc is a lucky boy to have her for a mother." Bill said softly to himself. "I hope he realizes it." With that, Bill finished his coffee and left the cafeteria.


	20. A Son's Hurt, A Mother's Heart

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters

Author's Note: Sorry it has taken me so long to update this story. Thank you for the nice reviews. I hope you enjoy this final chapter.

Chapter 20: A Son's Hurt, A Mother's Heart

Marc slowly opened his eyes and glanced around the room. Where was he? He couldn't remember. He closed his eyes, then opened them again. Through blurred vision, he saw Lu standing across the room staring out the window.

"Mom?" At the sound of her son's voice, Lu hurried over to him. It had been three days since he had awakened from the coma, and for the past three days, he had slipped in and out of consciousness. This was the first time he had spoken.

"I'm right here, Marc." Lu said as she gently touched his cheek.

"Where...what...?" Marc asked softly.

"You're at Rittenhouse. You had an accident." Lu answered.

"You're...you're not working?" Marc questioned, noticing that she was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt instead of her usual lab coat with a stethoscope around her neck. Lu shook her head.

"I haven't worked since you were brought into the ER."

"But...your patients...they need you." Marc said, repeating what he had so often heard her say.

"But you're my son, Marc. You need me more."

"I'm...I'm your one mistake...in high school, you mean." Marc said, closing his eyes as tears spilled down his pale cheeks.

"No, Marc." Lu said firmly. "You are the most important person in the world to me."

"I heard...I heard you tell Dr. Stowe...one mistake in high school..." Lu quickly realized how that must have sounded to her son, and why it would have upset him.

"Marc, listen to me for a minute. I know how that must have sounded to you. But I didn't mean it the way you think I did. I was 16 when I got pregnant with you. I was a kid myself. Back then, it was a mistake. Your dad and I made a mistake by having unprotected sex. I was scared. I knew nothin' about taking care of a baby. Your dad ran out on me. His family offered to pay for an abortion. But I couldn't do that. During the 9 months that I carried you, I thought that adoption was the only option. I knew I couldn't take care of you or give you what you needed. So that was my plan." Lu paused, biting her lip as she searched her mind carefully for the words to make her son understand how very much she loved him.

"But when you were born and they put you in my arms for the first time...I knew I couldn't let you go. I knew that no matter what, I had to do the best I could to give you the life you deserved. I could no longer be the street kid that I was. I was responsible for this beautiful baby boy. I knew I had to do what was right for you." Marc searched her face carefully. Tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"Then why..."Marc started, then paused. Lu continued.

"Your dad and I may have made a mistake in high school, but that mistake gave me a wonderful son...a son that means more to me than life itself. Marc, never have I ever regretted my decision to keep you. You are my entire world."

"Then why...why did you tell Dr. Stowe...?" Lu took a deep breath, knowing that now she needed to tell him the truth about what was going on that night.

"Marc, that was my first week back at work after my forced leave of absence. And there was something else going on too. I...I guess maybe I should have talked to you about it. But I couldn't. I couldn't talk to anyone about it. Not Lana. Not Peter. Not Nick. Not Dana. Not even you."

"What...what was it?" Marc asked.

"I wasn't feeling well that week. I was tired. I was edgy. By the middle of the week, I realized that my period was a few weeks late. Then it hit me. I was afraid...I was afraid that I could be pregnant...by Rand Kilner. Not wanting to answer questions, I stayed in my office as much as possible. I was afraid to tell anyone. Then I was called to the ER to treat a rape victim. I thought I was doing okay until she said that she was afraid of getting pregnant. Then I froze. Dana ended up finishing the exam. That's why I left the clinic early that day." Lu paused, taking a deep breath before continuing.

"Dana came over that night because she wanted to know what was going on with me. She said she knew it was more than just freezing in the ER. So I finally told her my suspicions. I told her that I was afraid of being pregnant by Kilner. I told her that if I was, I knew abortion wasn't an option. But I didn't know if I could raise a child knowing how he was conceived. I told her that I didn't know if I could raise another child on my own. I had raised you while putting myself through med school, and I didn't think I could do it again. That's when I said one mistake in high school...but I sure didn't mean that I didn't want you, Marc. I was just scared. The words just came out. I was remembering how difficult it was for us so much of the time. I was trying to raise you, work and go to school. I couldn't give you the things you needed. I couldn't give you the things the other kids had. You so often had to go without. Your dad wasn't around at all back then. Isabel helpedas much as she could," Lu said, referring to the grandmother who had raised her after the death of her own mother.

"I always felt like I was depriving you of things." Lu continued. "And there were times when I wondered if I had done the right things by not giving you up for adoption. I thought that if I had, you would have two parents who loved you and could give you everything a child needs. But I know one thing for sure, Marc. If I had, my heart and my life would be empty. I need you. You are my world. Without you, nothing else matters. Not the clinic. Not my life. Nothin'".

"Are...are you...pregnant?" Marc asked softly.

"No," Lu answered. "The next day Dana did a pregnancy test. It was negative." Marc was silent for a moment as he thought back to the night that he had gone to stay with his dad. He faintly remembered that his mother had been upset when she had come home from Dr. Jackson's party.

"The night of the party. When you came home...you seemed upset. I thought it was because I had called dad." Lu took a deep breath.

"I was upset. I had seen Rand Kilner at the Plaza. He was there with another group, but he had come into our room so we all saw him. And he had the nerve to speak to me. So when I got home, I was very upset. I didn't really want you to go to your dad's, but I didn't have the strength to argue. So I let you go." Marc closed his eyes as he thought about everything his mother had said.

He had always know how difficult it had been for her to care for him while she was working and going to school. But they had always managed. There had been times when he had wanted what other kids had, and was upset when she had had to tell him no. There had been times when he had felt deprived when he couldn't do what the other kids did, or when he wanted things she couldn't give him. But there was one that he had never felt deprived of, one thing that he had always been given.

"Mom, when I was little I did want what other kids had. Sometimes I got mad because I couldn't have things. Sometimes I got mad when I couldn't go to a movie with my friends because we didn't have money. Sometimes...sometimes kids at school teased me because of where we lived or because we were poor. And I hated that. But there was one thing that I knew I always had. And one thing you always gave me, no matter what." Marc finished.

"What was that?" Lu asked.

"I always knew that you loved me. I never had to question it. Even when we didn't have much else, we had love. As I got older, I realized that everything you did, you did because you loved me...working two jobs to support me and put yourself through school. Mom, you gave me the most important thing of all...you gave me your heart." Marc said, staring into his mother's tear filled eyes. Lu leaned over and gently kissed her son's cheek. His words had deeply touched her heart, and she knew now that they would be okay. His recovery would be a long, hard road, but together, and with the help of his father, they would make it.

"I love you, Marc. And we'll be okay. As long as we have each other, we will be okay"

"I love you too, Mom." Lu kissed him again.

"You'd better get some rest. I'll be back in a little while."

"Okay." Lu remained at her son's side until he drifted off to sleep. She watched him for a moment, remembering back to when he was a tiny baby.

"We made it, Marc." She whispered. "Together, we made it." With those words, Lu slipped out of her son's room, smiling for the first time in several days.

THE END


End file.
